Weekend Picks: An airing of grievances

Oct. 5—Football, as I know it, is a thing of the past.

Alright, that's a severe overreaction.

Allow me to explain.

I love the celebrations — let the boys dance — and I don't mind chippy, trash-talking football, as long as it remains relatively sportsmanlike. For those who aren't aware, you're indoctrinated into fluent trash-talk at an early age as a football player and, when it comes to the NFL, these grown men are practically impervious to any insults hurled from players and fans alike.

I don't even mind the carefully-calculated swagger of Neon Deion's Colorado Buffaloes, though I do enjoy when underdogs like Colorado State step up and put it to them. I, unfortunately, am a contrarian in the field of sports fandom — I staunchly opposed Oregon's hype when Chip Kelley soured college football with the brand new Run-Pass-Option, I will never buy into the relentless praise for an Ohio State quarterback (the Texan's C.J. Stroud looks good, though) and I cannot stand unaffiliated celebrities crowding a college football sideline.

That's just the cynic in me.

I do believe that God put football on this earth, and I have come to terms with the fact that he is clearly not a San Diego Chargers fan (I refuse to call them the Los Angeles Chargers). I love the game, the crucial plays, the bad calls (that seem to be getting worse by the day) and all of the bizarre behaviors and blunders that keep the game from being a cold, statistical snoozefest like I believe many analysts and fantasy football gamblers long for it to be.

But I do have my limits.

There's this whole rumored dating situation with Taylor Swift and Kansas City Chiefs' star tight end Travis Kelce. The news has led to Kelce's jersey's almost selling out on the NFL online store due to a sudden influx of feral teenage swifties' purchasing it in sanctity with their overlord.

In a much more shocking statistic, it was reported that the Sunday Night Football game between the Chiefs and the New York Jets was the most watched Sunday NFL game since last year's super bowl. There were 27 million viewers, with a noticeable ratings spike in the "girls ages 12-17" range.

What, haven't heard enough about Taylor Swift yet this year? I'd rather hear another gush-fest from the commentators about golden-boy Patrick Mahomes.

I feel a piece of my heart whither and crack every time a commentator scolds a grown NFL player for unsportsmanlike play, or sides with the referee over a soft penalty call. I've also reached the end of my rope over analysts referring to two quarterbacks "facing-off" as though either has a direct impact on the other's performance.

But that's what sells tickets, both literally and figuratively.

Case in point, everything surrounding the actual playing of football has become so ridiculous that it makes my head spin. I've heard some people say that one of their favorite aspects of football are "the storylines," as though there's an overarching narrative that's been plotted for people's enjoyment.

There's no "storyline." It's just a game.

Any drama outside of the football field is a product of your imagination or manipulation at the hands of corporate PR committees. If you're really looking for "story" I'll suggest "Friday Night Lights," which is currently streaming on Netflix.

That being said, I'm just happy football is back and the weather is at least taking the time to match the mood in southeast Wyoming. The game is still the game, and Sunday afternoons will always remind me of post-church lounging in the living room with my dad, flipping between games and talking anything and everything football for hours on end.

At the end of the day, maybe my grievances stem from a longing for those times. There's never going to be a more entertaining commentator for a football game than my father, though it is, unsurprisingly, an R-rated experience due to strong language. Still, he knows more than any talking head ever has.

But there's much more to life than football.

Among such things are the many events coming this weekend, starting with several events tonight. At 6 p.m., the local organization, Braver Angels Alliance, will moderate a panel of community members from local government, churches and law enforcement to discuss racial/ethnic tensions in the community.

Later tonight, The Lincoln Theatre is hosting its monthly Open Jam Night at 7 p.m. Or, at the same time, an LGBTQ+ movie night will be held at Capitol Cinema 16 for a viewing of the Agatha Christie adaptation "A Haunting in Venice."

Many local fall events continue throughout the month, including the Whitt's End Fall Festival, Windy Creek Farm Autumn Fest and Fall on the Farm at the Event Center at Archer, but a one-time-only fall foliage tour through the High Plains Arboretum will be held Friday at 1 p.m., led by Cheyenne Botanic Gardens experts Jessica Friis and Scott Aker.

Several performances continue throughout the month, including the True Troupe Drag Show at Orchard Valley Community Center and the well-received Cheyenne Little Theatre Players production of "Young Frankenstein." New to the bunch, and being held only this weekend, is the return of Midnight West Fest, a three-day film festival held in the Historic Atlas Theatre from Friday through Sunday.

The popular event features plenty of sideshows, including a carnival midway, live comedy, ghost hunts, a drag storytime, burlesque show, a performance from local metal outfit Demise of Sanity and more. The highlight, of course, are the local and regional films being screened throughout the different genre blocks, including my personal favorite, "After Dark," which features after-hours grindhouse/horror films.

Saturday morning is a good time for families to visit the Wyoming State Museum for their monthly Family Day. This month, the event appropriately focuses on spooky season with "Creepy Crawly Critters." Kids can learn about and interact with different creepy creatures, supervised by experts from the Biodiversity Institute and the Cheyenne Animal Shelter.

At 1 p.m., Blue Raven Brewery is hosting the Great Cheyenne Bed Race, an event where competitors race themselves down 18th Street in makeshift mobile beds. The event is raising money for the local charity FORMAK, which was created to raise awareness of crosswalk safety in the city. Races start at 2 p.m. Saturday.

Cap off Saturday night by tuning-in to watch to Pokes take on the Fresno State Bulldogs. As an Ole Miss alumnus, my loyalty still lies with the Rebels, but I'd be lying if I said I'm not wholly invested in this UW team.

Go Bolts, go Pokes and Hotty Toddy, folks.

Will Carpenter is the Wyoming Tribune Eagle's Arts and Entertainment/Features Reporter. He can be reached by email at wcarpenter@wyomingnews.com or by phone at 307-633-3135. Follow him on Twitter @will_carp_.