Weird News: Trespassed and sipping beer from juice bottle, man tells police his thoughts

Sheriff’s Office, Mangonia Park

Just juice?: Sitting in front of a business in the 1200 block of 45th Street, a man was seen sipping from an orange juice bottle. Though the bottle did likely contain orange juice at some point during its lifetime, it was now housing what deputies suspected was beer and no longer providing vitamins and minerals to the consumer. Violating liquor laws and with a trespass warning in place for the area, the man informed deputies that he "did not give a (expletive)!” He was arrested and later transported to jail.

Sheriff’s Office, Greenacres

Phone purloiner: Though a man’s concern for germs and the possibility of disease transmission was prudent, leaving his cellphone sitting next the jug of hand sanitizer he’d just used ... not so much. Returning the next morning to the business in the 6500 block of Forest Hill Boulevard, the man found his phone was gone. A review of surveillance footage showed a woman walking up to the hand sanitizing station and taking the phone. She was then seen leaving the building and getting into an SUV with out-of-state plates. Images of the suspect were taken from surveillance footage and placed into evidence.

Cane crook: Using a cane to walk, a woman entered a store in the 6800 block of Forest Hill Boulevard. Placing the cane in her cart she began shopping. In a case of just how low South Florida’s criminal scum can go, the woman’s cane was stolen from the cart while she wasn't looking. The cane, with an elephant head on the handle, was worth approximately $150.

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Sheriff’s Office, Lake Worth

Auto attacker: Receiving texts from his ex-girlfriend, a man was told to have his current girlfriend check out her car. The woman discovered two tires had been deflated and the registration sticker scraped off of the license plate of her car, which was parked in the 500 block of Sunrise Court. In addition to the text messages implicating the ex-girlfriend, a relative of the current flame said she saw the ex near the damaged vehicle. Despite the texts and eye witness, the ex-girlfriend told deputies she was never in the area and that she was not involved in any incident that may have occurred. There were no surveillance cameras in the area.

Phone purloiner, V. 2: Standing in the meat department at a store in the 200 block of North Dixie Highway, a man realized his phone was missing. He said he immediately went to the customer service counter to see if it had been turned in. It had not been turned in, but what had happened is that someone had used his phone in an attempt to make a purchase through Amazon. Though South Florida thieves can be incredibly brazen, most of the time they lack the brain power to get past the breaking of a window or picking up a phone that has fallen on the ground. The transaction was denied. The man immediately set about canceling any accounts linked to the phone.

Window wrecker: Likely settling down for good night’s sleep at a residence in the 1200 block of North D Street, a man got anything but when a large rock was hurled through his bedroom window. Though the glass was shattered, no one was hurt during the incident. The victim told deputies the exact same window had a rock thrown through it approximately two months earlier. There are no suspects at this time.

Purse pincher: After shopping at a store in the 4500 block of Hypoluxo Road, a woman went to her car and began loading her purchases. Unfortunately, in the process she managed to forget her purse in the cart. She then drove away. Like a baby wildebeest left unattended on the Serengeti Plain, the purse was quickly snatched up by a hyena/perpetrator. Placing the stolen purse in her vehicle, the perpetrator, seemingly unconcerned about getting caught, then walked into the store to do a bit of shopping herself. The entire incident was captured on the security cameras in the store’s parking lot.

Disturbing debris: A man was seen driving behind a gas station in the 8900 block of Lake Worth Road, depositing several items and then leaving the area. The items turned out to be a bloody shirt and a face mask. There was no mention of whether the mask was for COVID protection or a hockey mask. The items were collected and placed into evidence.

Sheriff’s Office, West Palm Beach

Petty cash pilferer: Dropping off her vehicle to be serviced at a dealership in the 6500 block of Okeechobee Boulevard, a woman said she got it back a little lighter financially than when she left it. She said that she had left over $20 in the center console as well as $20 in bills and $30 worth of quarters in the glove compartment and that they had been removed. The technician that worked on the vehicle denied any roll in the theft.

Wallet weasel: After entering a store in the 6800 block of Okeechobee Boulevard, a woman threw caution to the wind as she set her open purse in a cart and began shopping. Her grocery-gathering excursion took a turn for the worse after a man reached into her purse while she wasn't looking and stole her wallet. The entire incident was caught on surveillance cameras. The perpetrator was clearly seen, and in addition to providing a physical description of the man himself, the report said he was carrying a “murse.” Though this is sometimes used to describe a male nurse, in this instance it was used to describe a male purse. After the theft, the man, his “murse” and the woman’s wallet left the store. The woman said her wallet contained various credit cards and other items as well as $2,500 in cash.

Sheriff’s Office, Delray Beach

Thwarted thief: A man and his wife got quite the shock when they were sitting in their parked car in the 7400 block of Atlantic Avenue. That shock came in the form of an unknown man opening one of the back doors and grabbing a bag. Realizing the car was not empty, the perpetrator was likely just as shocked as he dropped the bag and quickly got into a nearby van and fled. In the end, adrenaline levels likely spiked considerably the couple has quite the story, but nothing was taken and the vehicle was not damaged. There was no mention of security camera footage from any of the nearby businesses.

Sheriff’s Office, Boynton Beach

Window wrecker, V. 2: Parked outside a center specializing in the mailing of letters and packages in the 6400 block of South Jog Road, a woman walked inside to conduct her business. Upon leaving, she discovered someone had gone “postal” on her vehicle and smashed one of her windows. She said she had no idea who could have committed the crime. There were no surveillance cameras in that area. There are no suspects at this time.

Sheriff’s Office, Wellington

Dastardly duo: Walking into a store in in the 10300 block of Forest Hill Boulevard, two women knelt down by some clothing racks and got to work. With a shopping bag they’d brought with them, they began stuffing it full of clothes. It would seem their plans involved a lot of clothes, so much that they’re planning didn’t account for capacity in terms of bag size. Showing the ability to improvise and think on the fly, one of the women went over to a cash register where she got a second bag. Genius! With both bags stuffed, the two master criminals began their escape. Unfortunately, they’d been spotted by employees and the jig was up. No matter. Though the store’s manager and loss prevention associate followed them as the exited the store, the pair decided to simply ignore their commands to stop. Despite being followed, they walked to their car and drove away. The manager was able to give deputies the make and model of the vehicle along with the tag number. He also explained that the not-so-dynamic duo are the same perpetrators that have stolen from the store on previous occasions.

Impatient patient: Claiming he wasn’t getting proper care at a medical facility in the 10100 block of Forest Hill Boulevard, a man began making threats. Though he'd been to the care center several times, he stated at one point that “he does not feel safe in the hospital.” He even went so far as to claim he may need to “arm himself to the teeth with a pistol.” He apparently ended his rant saying if that if the hospital doesn’t figure who did whatever he claims was done to him, he would “do whatever it takes to get revenge.” In addition to being at the hospital multiple times, the man has been known to release himself without being medically cleared.

Palm Beach Gardens

Choleric customer: Arriving at store in the 2600 block of PGA Boulevard, a customer was pretty upset before even walking in the door. Once inside, he said he’d been on hold for hours with their customer service center and was ready to vent. Asked by the associate he was speaking with to step outside so any raised voices or wild gesticulations would not upset other customers, the man agreed. Right or wrong, the upset customer continued being verbally aggressive to the point that the associate decided to end the conversation and went to walk back inside. As he did, he said the angry customer shoved the door behind him, shutting it on his elbow. The man got into his car and left. Though police later stopped him, he claimed he did not assault anyone. The associate declined to pursue any charges at that time.

No way to drive: Unable to maintain a single lane and driving with a license plate that was not registered to the vehicle, a motorist was stopped near the intersection of PGA Boulevard and the Florida Turnpike. Disheveled and smelling like an armpit, the motorist began his meet and greet with police. Though he had low, heavy eyelids, watery eyes and slow speech, the man denied having consumed any alcohol, cannabis or other controlled substance. With slow, lethargic movements and a delayed response to questions, the man agreed to take part in a roadside sobriety test. It did not go well for him and he was arrested for DUI. His breath would later show he had consumed no alcohol at all. Asked for a urine sample to test for other controlled substances the man agreed, but later claimed he didn’t have to go. His "didn’t have to go" was accepted as a refusal.

No wat to drive, V. 2: Doing his best Ricky Bobby impersonation, a motorist was clocked going 20 mph over the speed limit and stopped in the 300 block of PGA Boulevard. Whether he was brooding, thinking or just taking his time, the man initially refused to roll down his window when the officer approached the car. Whatever his thoughts were, he eventually did roll it down, handed the officer his license and spontaneously said that he thought he was only going 50. Though that velocity would still have been speeding, he probably thought that sounded better. With glassy eyes and slow, slurred speech, the man agreed to take part in a roadside sobriety test. He did and failed. He was arrested for DUI. His breath later showed he was almost twice the legal limit.

Compiled by Eddie Ritz from area law enforcement records.

This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Post: Weird News: Trespassed man sips beer, tells officers his thoughts