Welch: Did you miss Green Monday?
An email just arrived saying “Green Monday is still on.”
Today happens to be Tuesday at our house. I guess Green Monday was yesterday, but, like Black Friday, it’s getting extended.
Cyber Monday follows Black Friday. Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox. It’s preceded by Good Friday. Mardi Gras is the Tuesday 40 days before Easter. Actually 41. And now there’s a Green Monday.
Is it a day to buy environmentally correct Christmas gifts to help keep our planet green? Like maybe electric cars? Or solar-powered whatever?
Wrong. Per Wikipedia, it’s the second Monday in December, meaning the last pre-Christmas Monday for placing an online order if you want the gift to arrive before Christmas. Thanks, Wikipedia.
If you happen to be an English-speaking person living on the Isle of Cyprus (unlikely, but I never know who’s reading), Green Monday is an alternative name for Clean Monday, the first day of the Great Lent in Greece and Cyprus. Thanks again, Wikipedia. I’ll send a donation.
The term Green Monday is, sure enough, also used by some green-minded people. It’s a “social enterprise group that promotes and enables green, healthy and sustainable living.” Thanks once more, Wikipedia. That definition matches my first guess, but retailers apparently invented Green Monday and have first rights. The Greenies co-opted it.
Did I just invent “Greenie”? We’ll check later.
The first time I ever ran across the word “green” used in a political context was in a Munich newspaper in the 1990s. Put two dots over the “u” in “grun.” The German was too complicated for me to understand much, but it seemed the Green Party had clout.
Meanwhile, the primary meaning of any term is generally tied to who thinks of it first – at least initially. Retailers came up with “Green Monday” before the activists, thereby pushing the latter group into Wikipedia’s disambiguation category.
“Disambiguation” is a word I can barely spell and never encountered until Wikipedia started using it as a catch-all for all stuff that doesn’t fit or seems at odds with their main collection of information on any particular topic. It strikes me as Wikipedia’s designation for “also-rans.”
Per my little computer dictionary, to “disambiguate” is to remove uncertainty of meaning from an ambiguous sentence, phrase, or other linguistic unit.
For me, Wikipedia disambiguation makes things less clear by offering alternate information – more to know and consider, like every other meaning for Green Monday. It’s like they didn’t want any English-speaking Cypriots to feel left out. I guess I’m glad.
But I’ll bet I’m not the only Wikipedia user who feels less disambiguated after reading the disambiguation section on whatever the topic.
As for “greenie,” I checked. It’s an established term for someone who campaigns for protection of the environment. The label is often used derogatorily.
Greenies, take a cue from proud band nerds and claim your name. Wear it. You’ve got a shot at taking over Green Monday.
This article originally appeared on Wichita Falls Times Record News: Welch: Did you miss Green Monday?
