Wendy Waters-Connell finds comfort in heritage, family and community as she leads YWCA

When Wendy Waters-Connell’s brother died, she felt she’d lost so much. But he had been the one who had pushed for the family to find out who they really were, where they had come from.

And so Waters-Connell took on the mantle of trying to separate the stories the siblings had been told and the truth. In the process, she discovered an entire other heritage she wanted to embrace.

She has always been up for reimagining herself.

Raised a child of working-class parents in a part of unincorporated Butler County, Waters-Connell was told early on there was no such word as “can’t.” But the family's limited resources meant she had to look elsewhere for help.

So she found other women who believed in her, who mentored her. They helped her maneuver the world and a lot of the tricky situations that could have halted her progress or destroyed her confidence.

Everyone should be so lucky, she figured.

Waters-Connell went on to earn a nursing degree from Miami University with the help of a well-earned scholarship. And, for 18 years, she served as executive director/CEO for Quaker Heights Care.

Then it was time to do for others what had been done for her.

When the YWCA Hamilton’s executive director unexpectedly died in 2016, the organization hired Waters-Connell, who is now 56.

The mother of two boys had never forgotten what help she’d gotten and what help women of less advantage need to get ahead.

“I could feel my parents wanted me to do better than they did,” she said. “It took other guides to find the ways and means. I owe these female mentors everything.”

That led Waters-Connell to the YWCA job and to push hard on efforts to build a larger facility and expand ambitious programming.

“Our work to end gender-based violence will continue to include domestic violence, and ending human trafficking,” Waters-Connell said. “We will work to eliminate homelessness in the most vulnerable populations through permanent supportive housing.”

A personal mission

Just like a lot of the women she serves and the team she leads, Waters-Connell has found herself on a journey of self-discovery of late.

Her father had often told his family about his Native American roots. But there was no proof, no paper trail, to fill in the thousands of blanks about what tribe or what traditions were legitimately theirs.

The latest work in DNA analysis showed the family’s strongest connection is to the Cree of the Saskatchewan area. Intrigued by that revelation, Waters-Connell sought to learn the culture, to be proud of it. She is now a women’s traditional dancer and has taught her children to sing, drum and appreciate what she missed growing up.

But the growing up part is a little tangled, she says. Because of her hair and skin color, she was often asked if she “was Indian.” Her maiden name, Waters, with its connection directly to one of the four great elements, also helped people to make that leap.

But she was raised as a white woman with a heritage that also included some European background and, for most of her life, had just thought of herself as white. Soon enough, she began to understand the implications of that assumption. That is, she says she came to realize she might not have made it as far as she has if she had identified as Native American.

“I was raised in white identity. I have the privilege of choosing how I show up in a room," she explained. “What I want you to understand is that I appreciate that a quick hair and wardrobe change and I’m white, passing. I’m not red enough to be red and not fully white enough to be white but I have the opportunity to choose.”

She doesn’t think that’s fair or even appropriate but she acknowledges how it plays out in American society. It is what has moved her to work for those underrepresented in society. And to give others the gift of opportunity, mentorship, kindness and family which she never took for granted.

“Any microaggressions I have experienced early in life were few. This makes me even more conscientious about the suffering others have experienced because they cannot simply change their outward identity,” Waters-Connell said.

She says she has witnessed this disparity in her own sons’ lives and it drives her to work for a world where no one is harmed by their given identity.

“It drives me toward justice. My 'privilege' should be experienced by all. None of us should rest until this is our collective truth.”

She explained that she will use her personal and professional journey to help promote the mission of the YWCA.

“Relationships are the core of any significant change in a society,” said Waters-Connell. “We know that our success rests in building wider networks of people and organizations who believe in equity and empowerment.”

Her nursing background, too, has been priceless when it comes to leading the organization through the pandemic, adhering to the strictest of rules and protocols.

She said it's special to lead an organization that is located in Hamilton, where she has been living since getting married to life-long Hamilton resident Christopher in 1988. The couple has two sons, David, 25, and Jackson, 22.

"I think what makes her tick is the power to make a difference. She has always put others before herself and will continue to do so her whole life.

"People tell me all the time my mother is Superwoman and it's no news to me," David said. "She has no problem sticking up for what she believes in and does her part to act upon making a difference rather than just talking about it.

"Mom always asks us: 'What's the question that should always be in your head?'

"The answer to that," he said, quoting his mother, "is 'What can I do to help?'"

This article originally appeared on Cincinnati Enquirer: Cincinnati YWCA leader Wendy Waters-Connell on a personal journey