There's a chill in the air, and that can only mean one thing: It's almost time for your kid to declare exactly which expensive costume they want for Halloween, only to change their mind again on October 28!
Grab a handful of something pumpkin spiced and a latte. It's time to laugh along with the funniest parents on social media this week!
I used to be very laid-back & now seeing different colors of Play-Doh mixed together triggers me.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 5, 2022
Best laid plans.
Sometimes I think about things I used to say like 'all the toys will stay in the playroom' or 'I'm not going to offer alternative meals' and I laugh and I laugh because... kids.
— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) October 5, 2022
At the school welcome evening, all the children were invited to leave a note for their parents. Here’s mine… pic.twitter.com/gjG024xPPs
— Jessica Bull (@NovelistJessica) September 29, 2022
But seriously, who are they fooling?
Whenever there's a baby delivered in a TV show, moms are required to say, "That's not a newborn."
— A Dad Influence 🇺🇸🇫🇷🇺🇦 (@gbergan) October 3, 2022
Romance for married couples in your 30s = when he brings you coffee AND Tums in the morning without you asking.
— MommyingHard (@MommyingHard) October 3, 2022
Guess I can’t kiss them goodbye now before leaving for my jerb pic.twitter.com/2P9pseLjSi
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) October 6, 2022
The stakes are high now.
*Hears sound in the middle of the night*
Mildly afraid - it’s an intruder.
Absolutely terrified - it’s going to wake my toddler.
— MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) October 5, 2022
My daughter described my bra as a grown up Pop It and I may never stop laughing
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) October 4, 2022
And spoons I refuse to use.
Is it just me or does everyone have a favorite fork in their house
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 5, 2022
It's fine, I'm fine.
80% of marriage is walking around sighing passive aggressively but never saying anything
— Satirical Mommy (@SatiricalMommy) October 5, 2022
In my day...
Broke out some old threads to wear to work today and was feeling pretty cool until my 12 year old daughter saw me and said, “What is that shirt? You look like the 90s,” then I knew I nailed it.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 5, 2022
My wife wandered off 30 minutes ago in the grocery store, I have the shopping cart, her purse and cell phone. I guess I'm single now.
— Crac⚡ked (@a_simpl_man) October 2, 2022
Romance is still alive, at least.
Pillow talk when you’re married in your 40s is whispering things like “when I die, if you need access to the accounts, just hold my phone up to my dead face”
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) October 5, 2022
Mine too, TBH.
My 7-year-old’s favorite parts of a friend’s birthday party:
1. There was a dog.
2. There was another dog.
3. There was cake.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 3, 2022
Thanks for the tip, Anna Wintour.
Mommy, you look beautiful today, but you shouldn't wear house shoes to drop me off, that's lazy.
-my 3yo really nailing the backhanded compliments
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) October 5, 2022
Truly, where does it go?
If you haven’t had a missing TV remote for weeks at a time, you’re doing parenting wrong.
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) October 5, 2022
It was worth a shot.
Thinking my daughter is ready to handle a cup with no lid was a mistake. I know this now.
— Mom With No Plan (@MomWithNoPlan) October 5, 2022
Probably move houses, too.
I accidentally vacuumed up a live spider, so I did the right thing and returned the vacuum cleaner to Costco.
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) October 4, 2022
Next level, achieved.
My 6yr old is in a phase where instead of sighing she actually says “sigh”, so yes,‘I’d say as far as teen attitudes go, we’re pretty advanced.
— MommyCocktail (@MommyCocktail) October 6, 2022
Time has no meaning.
That fun parenting thing where you build in an extra hour of time in the morning but you are still late
— Tasty Brains Bloody Hearts (@kindminds_) October 5, 2022
And no, I don't want to answer a security question.
I can create a new unique password or I can remember my password but I cannot do both.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 3, 2022
It's the little things.
This is my life now... I get excited for trash day.
— Jennay Gump 🦐 🍫 👟 (@jovialjennay) October 2, 2022
Like a tiny human alarm clock.
My 4yo knows I'm hard to wake in the night
Unfortunately he also knows using his stuffed toy to wack me in the face a few times does the trick
— Big, Bad Caffeinated Dad 🇳🇿 ☕ (@Cafeinated_Dad) October 3, 2022
(Books flight to Tokyo)
My kid drew a godzilla on top of my to-do list, and frankly, it's a major improvement
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 3, 2022
This article was originally published on TODAY.com