Where is Joe Buck? Al Michaels? Here's where to find NFL announcers this football season

You can’t tell the players without a scorecard.

I’ve always thought that was a stupid saying. I mean, why would you be able to?

But it’s fitting when it comes to announcers for the upcoming NFL season. Big money and big changes have combined to give every network carrying the games — except one — a new broadcast team.

The games will look a little different (Amazon Prime Video will broadcast “Thursday Night Football”) and sound a lot different, too. The faces and voices are mostly familiar, but they’re jumbled together in a jigsaw of football talk.

More than anything else it’s weird. But does it matter? Uh, yeah.

In 2021, 75 of the 100 highest-rated shows on broadcast networks were football games. Add it up, Einstein — people love to watch football. And someone has to call them.

It seems unfair to rank or critique the announcers before they’ve even called a regular season game. But since when is life fair? Still, in a concession to fair play, we’ll hold off on a best-to-worst list — for now — and instead just work our way through who’s doing what when and where.

Listen up: 'Thursday Night Football' on Amazon Prime Video has a new theme song

CBS: Jim Nantz and Tony Romo

All of a sudden they’re the cagey veterans. Of course Romo signed a huge contract only a couple of years ago — $17 million a season. Nantz often sounds like he’s hosting a corporate event (though not as much as when he’s working the Masters). Not everyone like’s Romo’s, um, enthusiasm and his prognostications, but at least he’s fun. They’ll be working the Arizona Cardinals’ season opener against the Kansas City Chiefs on Sept. 11.

Fox: Kevin Burkhardt and Greg Olsen

This is the weirdest one of all. With Joe Buck and Troy Aikman following the money trail over to ESPN and “Monday Night Football,” Fox had to do something. So they did ... this? Burkhardt and Olsen are serviceable. A lot of people really like Olsen, but he’s pretty bland, if inoffensive. Odder still, Fox has announced that when Tom Brady retires — if he ever does — he’ll replace Olsen as the No. 1 analyst, to the tune of $375 million for 10 years. It’ll be hard for Olsen to call the game looking over his shoulder all the time. In a preseason game between the Cardinals and the Baltimore Ravens they did a nice-enough job, they just don’t sound like a No. 1 team. Yet. But they better start. They’re calling the Super Bowl at State Farm Stadium in Glendale in February.

NBC: Mike Tirico and Cris Collinsworth

You really miss Al Michaels, it turns out. Mike Tirico and Cris Collinsworth have done games before, as Michaels, now at Prime Video, worked a somewhat reduced schedule for “Sunday Night Football,” the crown jewel of NFL football. Or it was, anyway. Tirico nearly ruined “Monday Night Football” when he did play-by-play by taking the game, and himself, way too seriously. He’s better now, but still a little tight. Collinsworth somehow went from insightful and honest — a kind of John McEnroe/Johnny Miller figure for football — to just loving everything. It’ll be interesting to see if the game holds its grip on audiences.

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Prime Video: Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstreit

This is full-on bizarro world. Michaels sounds like football — when he does a game, it’s important. Or it was. “Thursday Night Football” isn’t known for its thrilling games (players don’t have enough rest from Sunday games) or marquee matchups, though the latter has gotten a little better lately. During a preseason game Michaels sounded like Michaels, but it’s so strange to hear Herbstreit — who typically works as an analyst for college games — sitting in. Sometimes he sounded like a little kid trying to impress the adult in the room. Herbstreit knows his stuff, so he’ll probably sort it out. But it’s going to take some getting used to.

ESPN (and occasionally ABC): Joe Buck and Troy Aikman

It looks like a misprint. Buck and Aikman worked together at Fox for 20 YEARS. But no more. The thing is, a lot of people hate them. Buck is smug as all get out and Aikman is just a cipher, a Hall of Fame player who rarely adds insight but is really good at stating the obvious. And yet when the Super Bowl rolls around in February, my guess is people are going to miss them. A little.

Lighten up: NFL fans hate Joe Buck and Troy Aikman for the wrong reasons

Reach Goodykoontz at bill.goodykoontz@arizonarepublic.com. Facebook: facebook.com/GoodyOnFilm. Twitter: @goodyk. Subscribe to the weekly movies newsletter.

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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: Where's Joe Buck? Where to watch these NFL announcers this season