Whitley's Believe It or Not: Don't dump on sports mascots, even if they dump on the job

It’s not often I can write how NBA performers are underpaid, but I heard some shocking salary figures last week.

It seems some mascots make more than $600,000 a year, the Sports Business Journal reported.

Most peoples’ reaction was, “What? Some guy gets 600 grand a year to parade around in a fur suit and make fun of refs?” That paycheck may seem excessive, but you have to look at the return on investment.

Russell Westbrook will make $47 million this season. I bet Hugo the Hornet will make more 3-pointers. And technically, he doesn’t even have any hands.

Mascots in all sports also work harder than most players. They dunk off trampolines, rappel from stadium roofs and put up with the kind of harassment that causes most employees to run screaming to their HR departments.

I once got to dress up as the San Antonio Spurs mascot, aka The Coyote. What I remember most was putting on the head and thinking I’d just stuck my head inside one of George Gervin’s sneakers. And when I went into the stands, I felt a disturbingly high number of hands on my coyote butt.

All that, and I bet The Coyote was getting paid less than the bartender in the owner’s suite. Denver’s Rocky the Mountain Lion is the highest-paid mascot at $625,000 a year, and Atlanta’s Harry the Hawk pulls down $600,000. But they are outliers in the mascot kingdom.

Most make less than $100,000 a year in the NBA. The highest-paid NFL mascot makes about $50,000 a year. Most don’t do much besides stand on the sideline and look goofy. Blaine Gabbert does that and makes $2.25 million a year.

College mascots make approximately $0, which may explain why SMU’s mascot staged a protest of sorts last Friday night during a game against Navy. More on that in a minute.

If you’re rankled that Benny the Bull gets paid four times the salary of a Chicago school teacher, remember his annual salary is less than half what Zach LaVine makes in a game. And if anyone puts their hands all over LaVine, the refs call a foul. ...

Stud of the Week: SMU’s cleanup crew. The school's pony mascot, Peruna, had an unfortunate intestinal incident when it ran onto the field in the third quarter of the Navy game. It took 15 minutes for handlers to clean things up, and many valiantly had to use only their hands.

Stud II – It’s a week late, but Toledo cornerback and Williston High product Qyinyon Mitchell had four interceptions, including two Pick-Sixes, against Northern Illinois on Oct. 8. That’s only two fewer interceptions than UF has all season.

Dud of the Week: The L.A. Dodgers, who won 111 games in the regular season, were promptly bounced out of the NLDS playoffs by San Diego.

Dud II – Alabama’s defense and clock management.

Dud of the Week Editor’s Note: After giving our award to protesters who have interrupted NBA and NFL games, we were going to recognize the “Stop Oil’ quacks who splattered tomato soup on a Van Gogh painting and glued themselves to the museum wall.

The stunts have become so prevalent, however, we will now only award Dud of the Week to protesters who glue themselves to the back of SMU’s mascot. ...

The Associated Press dateline for the LIV Tour’s recent tournament was “KING ABDULLAH ECONOMIC CITY, Saudi Arabia.”

Question: If that city has a basketball team, do opposing fans chant “Beat King Abdullah Economic City!” And if they do, does King Abdullah have them dismembered? ...

The Patriots are 2-0 and have outscored opponents 67-15 since rookie Bailey Zappe became starting QB. I don’t want to say Zappe is resembling a young Tom Brady, but he has reportedly started dating Giselle Bundchen. ...

Tennessee fans tore down the goalposts and threw them into the Tennessee River after the Vols’ 52-49 win over Alabama. There apparently is no to the truth rumor Nick Saban glued Tide defensive coordinator Pete Golding to the goalposts and helped throw them in. ...

Note to “Stop Oil” kooks planning their next protest. Super Glue is made from oil. ...

Mascot Trivia: Peruna once killed Fordham’s ram mascot with a kick to the head. The game was in New York City, so the D.A. waived bail and Peruna was back on the sideline by the second quarter. ...

Steph Curry ($48 million) and Russell Westbrook ($47 million) will combine this season to make more than San Antonio’s entire roster ($89 million), including The Coyote. ...

Jaguars mascot Jaxon de Ville once stomped on a life-sized doll of Pittsburgh QB Kordell Stewart during a game. If he’d done that now, Jacksonville would have gotten a roughing the passer penalty and its mascot would have been suspended six games. ...

NIL Update: SMU announced Peruna has signed an endorsement deal with Porta Potty. ...

Three NBA mascots will make more this season than the three highest-paid WNBA players (Jewell Loyd, Breanna Stewart and Diana Taurasi each make $228,000). To protest the inequity, NBA players plan to have WNBA players bring them coffee before they take a knee at Tuesday night’s season openers. ...

BetMGM was just named the official sports betting partner of the Cincinnati Reds.

Another question: When BetMGM or DraftKings or FanDuel inevitably becomes the official gambling partner at the Baseball Hall of Fame, will Pete Rose be allowed in to place a bet? ...

That’s about all the space we have for this week’s Whitley’s Believe It or Not. Till next time, if you see a mascot, please thank him or her for their service.

David Whitley is The Gainesville Sun's sports columnist. Contact him at dwhitley@gannett.com. Follow him on Twitter @DavidEWhitley

This article originally appeared on The Gainesville Sun: Why do NBA mascots make more than WNBA players?