Take me out to the ballgame. It's Opening Day for MLB, new rules and all

I feel about baseball the way I feel about the band Talking Heads.

I know I should love it, but if I’m being honest, mostly I just appreciate it. Like it’s nice to know it’s there.

This is quite an admission for someone my age. When I was a kid, baseball was cool. When I was a young adult, Talking Heads were cool. Talking Heads have aged more gracefully, I must say; David Byrne is out there (without his bandmates) showing up at the Oscars and winning new fans.

But baseball, with new rules designed to speed up the game and make it more fun to watch (for younger TV viewers, of course) might be ready for its David Byrne moment.

And it's about time.

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What are the new baseball rules for 2023

The game is riding a high, with the already-iconic finish to the World Baseball Classic earlier this month — the two best players in the world, Japan’s Shohei Ohtani striking out his Los Angeles Angels teammate Mike Trout with two out in the bottom of the ninth inning — whetting fans’ appetites.

That’ll be tough to top.

But the new rules are what are going to make the game different to watch. They’re not going to turn the most leisurely sports watch this side of a golf tournament into drag racing, but they likely will affect the length of get-a-beer-and-bathroom breaks during games.

People with greater baseball minds than me, which is almost everyone, believe the new rules could be a boon to the Arizona Diamondbacks, given their youth and speed. That’s a team that could use a boon.

The pitch clock is the biggest change

The big change is the introduction of a pitch clock. Baseball is the last refuge of the purist, where a sizable amount of fans believe if rules were good enough for Ty by-god Cobb, they’re good enough for players now. Of course rules have changed plenty of times, but this is the mindset.

But who among us who have sat through a three-hour-plus game can argue against a pitch clock?

Pitchers now have 15 seconds to deliver a pitch with no runners are on base, and 20 seconds if there is a runner on. No more lengthy hemming and hawing by the pitcher. If they take too long, it’s a ball.

Or the batters, for that matter. They now have to be in the batter’s box and basically looking at the pitcher when the pitch clock reaches eight seconds. If not, it’s a strike. So long to the lengthy scratch, spit, repeat ritual.

You can see the effect on the game — it speeds things up. But it also speeds it up for those of us watching on TV. If you caught any spring-training games, the difference is notable.

And kind of fun.

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Bases the size of pizza boxes should mean more heart-pumping steals

Also, bases are larger this season, going from 15 by 15 inches to 18 by 18. The way you most often hear the new base described is “pizza box.” The idea is that it’ll make it easier, or at least more enticing, to steal bases. This is also a good thing from a TV standpoint — an attempt to steal a base is exciting to watch.

There are other changes, but these will be the most-talking about by broadcast teams working the games. Some players like the changes, by the way, and a lot don’t. As for the ones who don’t, you know, so it goes. You get paid more in an inning than me and my dad and my grandfather combined. You’re playing baseball. If you have to speed things up a bit, so be it.

My belief is that it’ll make games more fun to watch by adding a sense or urgency, which always makes for good TV (unless you’re the person under duress). This ain’t no party, as a certain band once sang. This ain’t no disco/This ain’t no fooling around.

This is baseball, all sped up. And I’m here for it.

How to watch the Arizona Diamondbacks opening day

Watch the Arizona Diamondbacks vs. the Los Angeles Dodgers at 7 p.m. Thursday, March 30 on Bally Sports Arizona.

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Reach Goodykoontz at bill.goodykoontz@arizonarepublic.com. Facebook: facebook.com/GoodyOnFilm. Twitter: @goodyk. Subscribe to the weekly movies newsletter.

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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: How to watch MLB Opening Day. And why the new rules mean you should