Why Neptune school officials wouldn't let valedictorian deliver graduation speech

NEPTUNE — Teresa Kinney felt bullied and isolated in high school, after suffering sexual and emotional abuse from her peers, she said.

It was a story the 18-year-old didn't share at the time, not with Neptune High School administrators, teachers or counselors, she said. That is, not until this June, when she wrote her story of triumph against the odds into a graduation speech.

Kinney was the 2023 valedictorian of the Poseidon Early College High School, a program that enabled her to get an associate degree from Brookdale Community College and her high school diploma at the same time. As valedictorian of the program, school tradition dictated that Kinney would make one of the graduation speeches.

"What I went through was awful and nothing I wish upon another person," she wrote in the speech. "However, because of it, I found my love for advocacy."

Kinney was preparing to deliver that speech, one she envisioned as an inspirational story of academic achievement and perseverance over trauma, when she school administrators pulled her from the ceremony lineup.

The move raised deeper questions about student free speech and public discussions of sexual abuse of women in the "#MeToo" era.

After Neptune High School administration and guidance counselors read Kinney's draft speech hours before the ceremony, they set up an urgent meeting with Kinney and her mother.

Kinney saw the speech as motivational: how the trauma of rape, sexual abuse and bullying became "fuel to persevere."

In an interview with the Asbury Park Press, Kinney said she wanted to pursue a career helping others, particularly women who have been through similar experiences.

But before she had the chance to share her story with the rest of her school community, school administrators pulled her speech, saying the "speech was more than one expressing dissatisfaction about some of her time in the school district," Superintendent Tammi Crader told the Asbury Park Press in a statement.

"Although we recognize that it was difficult for her to speak out, we felt that the commencement ceremony was not the appropriate venue within which that should occur," Crader said.

School administrators were "shocked and deeply saddened" by Kinney's experiences, but had no prior knowledge of any of the events described in the essay, the superintendent said.

"We were certainly willing to provide a venue where she could share her experiences with staff who were in positions to learn from that information and possibly make changes," Crader said. "Additionally, we wanted to ensure that she received the support that she might have needed, which is why we involved counselors in meeting with Teresa and her parent."

Teresa's mother Sonia Kinney, in an emailed statement shared with the Press and school board because the family was traveling after graduation, said she was aware of the contents of her daughter's speech before it was submitted to school officials and that she and Teresa had discussed the issues.

"I thought it (the speech) was beautiful," Sonia Kinney said in her statement. "Rape, sexual assault, bullying and harassment are tuff [sic] subjects. Ones that make people uncomfortable to think about and talk about, but if you don't use your voice you will never be heard."

At their meeting, school officials, Sonia and Teresa discussed the speech, but school officials told the family Teresa would not be allowed to give any graduation speech at the ceremony, the women said.

"They were robbing my daughter of this moment," Sonia Kinney said. "She's worked through so much and so hard. Despite all the bad, here she was Valedictorian and should be recognized."

In addition to having her speech cut from the ceremony, Teresa was not acknowledged as the valedictorian of the Poseidon program, she said.

"They didn't even acknowledge her," Sonia Kinney said. "As if she didn't exist. Everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves. Here you have a child, who has endored [sic] something horrific and is working on how to deal with the events. To finally reach a point to be strong enough, brave enough to tell her story out loud for all to know and instead of being commended, she is trying to be silenced."

Crader disagreed, saying Kinney was acknowledged at the ceremony.

"Teresa was recognized in the keepsake program as Poseidon valedictorian, and her name was called, allowing everyone to applaud her significant accomplishments," she said.

On their decision to pull the speech from the ceremony, the superintendent said school administrators weighed Kinney's right to share her story with the implications and impact that would have on families and students at graduation.

"Given the time we were made aware of the allegations, we had to determine what was best for the student, her family, fellow graduates and attendees," she said. "Revealing a traumatic experience for the first time to an unsuspecting audience could have created additional issues for the student."

Crader said the situation has triggered a re-evaluation of graduation policies in Neptune for the future.

"This unfortunate experience has taught us a great deal as it relates to process," she said. "Going forward, all speeches — students and adults — will be due at least one week prior to graduation. This will allow ample time for discussion should the speech contain sensitive information that may require vetting or reworking. It would also allow time to provide counseling services, albeit days before school ends."

Kinney said she is still angry.

As the start of freshman year approaches at Middlebury College in Vermont — where Kinney is enrolled and plans to double major in women and gender studies and political science — she hopes to put the incident behind her.

"I still think that it was mishandled," she said. "I'm trying to move past it. It's something I still want to speak about, but there's only so much I can do before I leave."

Academic achievements: Neptune graduates wow their teachers and peers, head to Harvard University

Amanda Oglesby is an Ocean County native who covers Brick, Barnegat and Lacey townships as well as the environment. She has worked for the Press for more than a decade. Reach her at @OglesbyAPP, aoglesby@gannettnj.com or 732-557-5701.

This article originally appeared on Asbury Park Press: Neptune grad's speech pulled from ceremony. Here's why