Why your teen is watching endless TikToks of a 47-year-old man to the song ‘Hey Sexy Lady’

This is how I imagine you made this discovery: You’re sitting at home. Maybe you’re doing the dishes. Or perhaps you’re reading. Either way, you’re thoroughly minding your own business. Your teen is safely tucked away in their room, presumably scrolling on TikTok.

From wherever you are, you can faintly hear the beginning lyrics to a song: “Hey sexy lady, I love your style girl ...” You pause and cock your head. Wait. Haven’t you heard this song before? And before that?

Interest piqued, you detach yourself from whatever you’re doing and stealthily make your way to your teen’s room. As you make the journey, you hear “Hey Sexy Lady” over and over and over again. By the time you reach your teen’s door, you’re wondering if you’re going insane. Is this song haunting you? Is it all in your head?

As you softly open the door, you fears subside and subsequently pick up again: No, you aren’t going crazy. “Hey Sexy Lady,” a classic club bop by Shaggy, is playing on repeat. But why?

You innocuously ask your teen: “Whatcha watching?” Since I am an idealist, I imagine that your teen gleefully sits up from their bed and eagerly beckons you over to see. You sit down, settle in and peer over their shoulder.

You weren’t exactly sure what you were expecting, but you definitely weren’t expecting what you’re about to see. I suppose you’d imagine that any clip to the song “Hey Sexy Lady” would be slightly inappropriate and showcase scantily-clad women. But oh, how you were wrong.

Instead you see fast-paced clips of a middle-aged man with a large nose and a mustache, clad in cowboy-garb, hitting on Halle Berry, reaching for his knife and altogether brooding away in a cowboy hat. There’s even a shot, albeit brief, of his butt in tight jeans.

You look at your teen in astonishment. “Who is this guy?” you ask.

Your teen sighs dreamily. “Pedro Pascal,” they answer.

You leave your teen’s room, more confused than ever. After doing some light research, you discover that Pascal is a 47-year-old actor from Chile. He’s been in TV shows such as “Game of Thrones,” “Narcos,” “The Mandalorian” and, most recently, the wildly popular HBO show “The Last of Us.”

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While the internet has given you vague information on Pascal, what it hasn’t given you is answers. Why is your teen watching videos of a 47-year-old-man to the song “Hey Sexy Lady”?

You have questions. I have answers. Let’s get into it.

Who is Pedro Pascal?

As mentioned, Pascal is a 47-year-old actor from Chile. He is 5-foot-11, according to an interview with TVGuide, and while this might not be of much interest to you, I guarantee that it is a fact that your teen finds very interesting.

Here’s another tidbit about Pascal, so you can sound like you know what you’re talking about the next time your teen brings him up: Pascal has a delightful friendship with fellow “Star Wars” franchise actor Oscar Isaac. According to IMDB, they met while working in an off-Broadway play in 2005. Later on, they starred in the 2019 film “Triple Frontier.”

What is Pedro Pascal known for?

While Pascal has been acting since the late 1990s, according to his IMDB page, he catapulted into the spotlight, and most likely into the heart of your teen, when he starred in “The Mandalorian” as the Mandalorian. Pascal became a fascination, especially since both famously and disappointingly, the Mandalorian almost never takes his helmet off on the show.

Since then, Pascal has been in a multitude of both dramatic and comedic roles. He’s best known for his roles in “Game of Thrones,” “Kingmsan: The Golden Circle,” “Narcos,” “Wonder Woman 1984,” “The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent” and “The Last of Us.”

If you want to see just what all the hype is about, you can check out Pascal in “The Last of Us” on HBO Max on Sunday nights at 7 p.m. MST. The show recently got renewed for a Season 2, according to Variety, and rest assured that Pascal fans are collectively shrieking and celebrating everywhere.

Recently, Pascal made waves due to his appearance at the Oscars this year and the Season 1 finale of “The Last of Us,” both of which aired Sunday night. While some fans called “The Last of Us” season finale traumatizing, their love for Pascal remains undying.

Why is your teen so obsessed with Pedro Pascal?

“What exactly is the deal with Pedro Pascal?” you might wonder. He differs from internet heartthrobs in the past — he lacks the boyish charm of, say, actor Timothée Chalamet or singer Harry Styles. He’s both goofier and older than actor Andrew Garfield.

Perhaps one has to be actively present for a cultural movement to understand said cultural movement, but I will attempt to explain: Pascal is the quintessential internet boyfriend. Or, it might be more accurate to say, internet husband.

Pascal is the zeitgeist of the perfect internet husband. According to Observer, “When real men disappoint us, our Internet Boyfriends will always be here for us to prove what men could and should be like: beautiful, kind, authentic.”

That is why your teen is obsessed with Pascal. He’s handsome, sure, but he is almost inarguably wholesome. He is both goofy and authentically himself. Pascal knows that your teen is obsessed with him and takes it in stride, all without letting it get to his head.

It feels like if you ran into him on the side of the street, Pascal would kindly and enthusiastically chat with you. He’d take a genuine interest in who you are. You two would snap a pic, exchange a hug and be on your way. And while Pascal’s life would be wholly unaltered, this interaction would completely change the trajectory of your life. Or, at the very least, your dating life. Because what real man could compare?

Internet boyfriends come and go but internet husbands, like Pascal, are here to stay. So next time you hear the song “Hey Sexy Lady” playing faintly from your teen’s room, don’t panic. There are worst celebrities for them to hyperfixate on.