Wichita business opening this week will deliver warm cookies late at night, and I’m not OK

I love cookies, and not in a casual way. It’s a lifelong addiction that started when I was a young child and wanted cookies so desperately, I learned how to bake so I could have them whenever I wanted.

So life got kind of dicey for me back in 2019 when my daughter and I discovered Crumbl Cookies and became powerless against the lure of the butter-and-sugar bombs they produce and the way they change the flavor lineup each week, adding new combinations of cream cheese, chocolate, fruit, cereal and peanut butter toppings and fillings. Every week, we’d swear that THIS was the last time we were going to Crumbl. Every week, the car would somehow still manage to drive miles and miles to northeast Wichita with us trapped inside, salivating.

So back in May, when I learned that ANOTHER coveted cookie chain was headed to Wichita, my blood sugar spiked and I screamed in despair: “WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS????????”

Now, opening day for Wichita’s first Insomnia Cookies location is almost here: It opens on Friday, having taken over all the vacant food kiosks on the plaza at Union Station, 701 E. Douglas.

Though I haven’t yet had the opportunity to sample an Insomnia cookie, if they’re half as addictive as Crumbl’s, I’m in trouble. Not only is this shop a mere two miles from my front door, but it also serves cookies late, late into the night, when cookie cravings often become unmanageable. Not only that, but Insomnia will DELIVER UNTIL 3 A.M. Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.

This is not going to end well.

Insomnia Cookies, which is based in California, already has two stores in Kansas — one in Manhattan and one in Lawrence — and the new Wichita location will be the chain’s 250th.

It’s known for selling warm cookies in flavors like Chocolate Chunk, Snickerdoodle and Confetti Deluxe and it also serves brownies, blondies, brookies — even has ice cream. The store also stocks ice cream cookie sandwiches, cookie cakes and cookie nachos, and I don’t even want to know what those are, thank you. (You can see the full menu at insomniacookies.com/menu)

Those who visit Insomnia Cookies for its grand opening on Friday will get to try a cookie for free.
Those who visit Insomnia Cookies for its grand opening on Friday will get to try a cookie for free.

Customers who get a $9.99-a-month “Cookie Magic” subscription can get one free cookie a day and free delivery. I will not be doing this. (Will I?)

Wichita’s new Insomnia Cookies will attempt to hook cookie fiends like me with a grand opening celebration on Friday that includes free samples. Anyone who visits from 11 a.m. to 3 a.m. on Friday will get one free classic cookie. Those who order cookie delivery also can get one free classic cookie along with their order and can get free delivery with the code WICHITA.

The store also will have giveaways and a prize wheel set up until 3 a.m. on opening day.

Starting Friday, Insomnia Cookies’ hours will be 11 a.m. to 1 a.m. Sundays through Wednesdays, 11 a.m. to 3 a.m. Thursdays through Saturdays and noon to 1 a.m. Sundays.

Please, keep me in your thoughts.