Yahoo News 'Nobody can give me a hug': Widow gives heartbreaking account of husband’s death from 'cruel' coronavirus
A grieving widow has described the heartbreaking moment nurses said her husband of 43 years would not be put on a ventilator, shortly before he died from coronavirus.
She told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme on Monday about his last moments in hospital before he died from COVID-19.
The woman, who didn’t wish to be identified and is known only as “Hannah”, said her husband John died last week aged 75 on the eve of the couple’s 43rd wedding anniversary.
After he was admitted to hospital, she realised he didn’t have long to live when a nurse told her he wouldn’t be put on a ventilator to aid with his breathing.
“This is such a cruel disease,” she said.
“Apart from the medical staff that he saw when he had to, John was alone for a week. I was alone at home and I’m now alone at home.
“Nobody can give me a hug. My friends have rallied round, my church and everybody have been fabulous but nobody can give me a hug. I’m not lonely, I want to make that clear, I’m not lonely. But I am alone.”
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Hannah said she had contracted coronavirus before her husband, a retired accountant.
After he became unwell, she said, he told her of his worries about going to hospital.
“He was fearful that if you went in, you wouldn’t come out,” she said.
After he suffered a “terrible coughing fit” at 3am, an ambulance came to their home in 25 minutes and took him to hospital, leaving Hannah behind.
“As I shut the door behind him, it crossed my mind that I might never see him again, but I tried to put that aside,” she said.
Heartbreaking account.
“This is such a cruel disease. Apart from the medical staff.. John was alone, for a week.. I’m now alone at home. Nobody can give me a hug. My friends have rallied round. My church and everybody have been fabulous, but nobody can give me a hug.”#r4today pic.twitter.com/JIHWyIzNJ7— Damon Evans (@damocrat) April 13, 2020
A few days later, John was moved to the high-dependency unit of the hospital to be put on a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine, commonly used to treat sleep apnoea, to aid his breathing.
Four days later, a nurse called Hannah to say his condition had deteriorated.
“I then said, ‘If he gets worse will you ventilate him?’, and the nurse said ‘We wouldn’t ventilate him, we would be making him comfortable’, which I know are the words they use for palliative care.
“This was a big shock. I had no idea he was quite that ill.”
She said her two sons told her they had spoken to their father by phone, and that he’d said his goodbyes to them.
In another phone call later from a nurse, Hannah was told John had said “he had had enough, mentally and physically”.
Hannah said: “We are Christians and he was ready to go.”
She drove to the hospital so they could spend his last hours together.
The couple spoke via speakerphone to their rector, who informed them the next day was their 43rd wedding anniversary, and proceeded to read them prayers for the marriage vow renewal service.
She said the couple then “said our goodbyes” and a nurse removed his CPAP mask.
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“I was able to hold his hand, I was able to kiss his forehead as he got more and more distressed,” said Hannah.
“At that point I said, ‘Do you want anything else, or peace?’ And he put his thumb up for peace.”
The couple then spoke to their two sons – one in Canada and one in India – via WhatsApp.
“John’s breathing became really, really laboured, Hannah said. “It is not a nice, quiet way to go. It is not a gentle death.
“I noticed a change in his breathing. It was less noisy. And I WhatsApped them, ‘I think he’s going’.”
She then pressed the buzzer for a nurse to come in and observe her husband.
She said: “There was a slight exhalation, she then put her hand on his chest. And she nodded to me and said, yes he’s gone.”
