WILDER'S WHOLE WORLD: Thanks living
By now, you are considering Thanksgiving leftovers for the second time. It is the culmination of a wonderful holiday in the American way; a time when more of us travel to see ‘Mom’ and other relatives than any other time of the year, including Christmas. The leftover tradition is simply one of many associated with the feast held on the fourth Thursday of November to ‘give thanks’ for the bounty we have.
I don’t have many specific memories of Thanksgiving; there is one, which I will relate later in this writing. Most of my memories are of trips to the Dallas area early on in Life to be with my mother’s and father’s families. These were wonderful affairs with gargantuan amounts of food and fellowship and laughs. I don’t remember a bad holiday in any of them. Eventually, we moved to our own family as we became adults and had lives of our own.
These times were special as well. We’ve kept traditions going and even held a football game or two. We’ve made all the fixins, too; and had the turkey. I must say that I do like cranberry sauce (only once a year). My sisters take turns making our mother’s dressing recipe; and we get to keep her in our hearts on this special day.
My specific memory of Thanksgiving involves my mother. It was 2001; and all of us had gathered at the family homestead south of Sherman. We were all decked out in holiday attire; we made up the house because my mother wasn’t able to do so. No, she was in the hospital and had been for a couple of weeks. She wanted so much to be with us on Thanksgiving. With much discussion and cajoling, we were able to talk the doctor into letting her come home for three hours that afternoon.
Maybe, it was unheard of, but we knew she wasn’t doing well. It might be the last time we were all together. She felt strong; and wanted to be there. I remember her smile when she arrived. Mom sat the entire time, even in the family picture we took. She was glowing and talkative. I think she knew this was a special time, even more so than we knew. We had a great time with her; every single person got to be with Mom and Granny.
After our meal, Mom went back to the hospital never to set foot in her own home again. In retrospect, it was the most bittersweet feeling I have ever had. I guess that’s why I remember it so well. I loved having her at home with her family on the holiday, but I knew it was almost certainly the last time. In a week, I would know for sure as her condition took a turn for the worse. Christmas at that house was so empty; replaced by a funeral. The smiles were all gone that year.
In the last 20 years, we have continued the separate holidays. It was not easy at times, but we did it, mostly, for Dad’s sake. We sat in that same ‘sun room,’ as Mom called it, every time every holiday; just like we did Thanksgiving 2001. Since Dad’s death in 2015, we have combined holidays and only meet once at the end of the year, alternating Thanksgiving and Christmas. This year was ‘Turkey Day.’
We have learned to live Life and keep moving forward as a family. I guess giving thanks is like living thankfully for all we have. I have tried to do this; year in and year out. I don’t have much, but what is there is precious. I am going through a transition with my son being out on his own; getting married and starting a career. Yet, the holidays pull us back into family; that place where we began.
That place where we first understood what it meant to be alive; to love those important to us; to give thanks; to live life to the fullest and be happy in it. We learned to be who we are; in the good times and bad; at the weddings and the funerals. Basically, we learned of Life in its glory; and I am thankful for it.
Perhaps, it should be called ‘Thanksliving’…
Dwayne Wilder is a Sherman native who currently lives in Denison. Wilder’s Whole World is his commentary about life in Texoma and the world. Wilder can be reached at cmandad17@gmail.com. The views and opinions expressed here are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect those of Texoma Marketing and Media Group.
This article originally appeared on Herald Democrat: WILDER'S WHOLE WORLD: Thanks living
