Williams: I made my own Florida HS conferences because UCLA, USC can be in the Big 10

The idea of geographical conferences is starting to fade away. Today we saw UCLA and USC announce that they were planning on moving to the Big 10 starting in as early as 2024.

Yes, the Big 10 has expanded from the midwest to places like the New York metropolitan area (Rutgers) and Chesapeake Bay (Maryland), but the Pacific Coast is a stretch. Nebraska, the westernmost school in the Big 10, is 1500 miles from both schools. Does this make sense when it comes to traveling? Not really.

Here in Florida, high school classification alignments change like the weather. One day your district is local and the next you have to drive three hours for a mandatory regular-season game. There's been a lot of chaos over classification realignments and conferences over the past few months, so let's have some fun with it.

I sat on MaxPreps for about an hour, typed up mascots that were related to each other, and built my conferences solely based on that. Will Munroe and Forest ever play in the same conference? Probably not, but they both come from the feline species.

Here's what I mustered up.

Beach day conference: Seabreeze Sandcrabs, Gulf Breeze Dolphins, Arnold Marlins, Seacoast Swordfish, Seacrest Stringray, South Walton Seahawks, Atlantis Academy Tridents, Destin Sharks.

I love wildlife, so if I went to the beach and saw all these things, I'd have an awesome day. However, if I saw a trident, I'd probably have a panic attack.

You gonna burn, burn, burn, burn, burn to the wick Ooh conference: Beachside Barracudas, New Smyrna Beach Barracudas, Coral Reef Barracudas, East Atlantic Prep Barracudas, Don Soffer Aventura Barracudas.

This is a tribute to the band Heart and their smash hit about everyone's favorite large, predatory, ray-finned fish. You'd have me down, down, down, down on my knees

Now wouldn't you?

A stormy conference with Hurricanes and Tornadoes

Get your poncho conference: Gainesville Hurricanes, Bay Tornadoes, Pompano Beach Golden Tornadoes, Celebration Storm, Out-of-Door Academy Thunder, Cypress Bay Lightning.

The weather here is very unpredictable. It literally looks like it's going to rain outside right now. Literally, you don't know when I'm writing this, but for the sole fact that the weather changes every five seconds in this state, it's accurate. Also, I have no clue what a "Golden Tornado" is.

Oh my conference: Leon Lions, Jefferson County Tigers, Bartram Trail Bears.

If you don't know this reference then I really don't know how to help you.

Call the exterminator conference: Crossroad Academy Scorpions, CVV Academy Spiders, FAMU DRS Baby Rattlers, Monarch Academy Butterflies, Hawthorne Hornets, St. Augustine Yellow Jackets, Fort Lauderdale Flying Ls (I don't care if it's not a bug, I don't want it flying around my house).

I love the range of this conference. We have venomous creatures like scorpions and rattlesnakes, and then there are just the butterflies chilling right there.

Chomp, chomp conference: Port St. Joe Tiger Sharks, Baker Gators, Real Life Christian Academy Raptors, Pinecrest Prep Crocs’, Edgewood Red Wolves, Chiles Timberwolves, Florida Deaf and Blind Dragons.

I know that the Toronto Raptors are a team, but if that was your high school mascot that'd be so sick. Also, the spelling of "Crocs" for Pinecrest Prep is also iconic. Do you think they get a brand deal with the shoe company?

SQUAAWWW conference: Lake Howell Silver Hawk, Miami Springs Golden Hawk, TLAP Sports Academy Black Hawk, Alonso Ravens, FAU High Owls, Menendez Falcons, Bishop Snyder Cardinals, North Florida Christian Eagles.

I based this conference on Fetty Wap's iconic "SQUAW" from My Way. I might be dating myself with that reference, but I don't care. Anyway, birds. It's crazy that there are three different colored hawk mascots in Florida too.

Meow conference: Munroe Bobcats, Gadsden County Jaguars, Dwyer Panthers, Godby Cougars, Hernando Leopards, Forest Wildcats.

I went a little more local with this once, hence why I put three Big Bend schools in it, but everyone has a cat mascot. Hernando is only one of two schools in Florida that has "Leopards" as a mascot. Already used Lions and Tigers, so wanted to mix it up here.

THIS. IS. FLORIDA. Conference: Lincoln Trojans, Southridge Spartans, Jupiter Warriors, Bayshore Christian Faith Warriors, Hialeah Gardens Gladiators, Rickards Raiders, Sneads Pirates, Mainland Buccaneers, Raines Vikings, Tampa Catholic Crusaders, Riverside Generals.

I couldn't think of a good name for this conference, so I just went with the 300 references. Battle-type figures are another popular mascot in the state. There are a few original ones with Bayshore Christian Faith Warriors and Hialeah Gardens Gladiators.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye conference: Pine Christian Kings, Kingdom Prep Royals, LaSalle Royal Lions, River Ridge Royal Knights, Stranahan Mighty Dragons, North Fort Myers Red Knights.

My final conference concoction is one of royal descent. Kings, Knights, and Mighty Dragons only. Pro tip: adding adjectives to your mascot makes them so much cooler than they already are.

Jack Williams covers prep sports for Tallahassee Democrat. Contact him via email at jwilliams@tallahassee.com or on Twitter @jackgwilliams. 

This article originally appeared on Tallahassee Democrat: With USC, UCLA joining Big Ten, why not make up new Florida leagues?