'Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey' is a demented disappointment, with one truly scary bit
When something falls into the public domain, interesting things can happen.
When the copyright expired in 1974 for “It’s a Wonderful Life,” a movie that was just a middling hit largely forgotten, the film started showing up on TV all the time around Christmas and became a holiday tradition.
“The Great Gatsby” fell into the public domain in 2021; since then a prequel novel, “Nick,” has been published, among other things.
And now: Winnie the Pooh is a cannibalistic serial killer.
He is in “Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey,” anyway, an out-and-out gore-fest written and directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield.
The very notion may strike a blow to the heart of your childhood or sound like an idea so zonked out that its camp value cannot be measured by contemporary means (the current barometer being any series created by Ryan Murphy).
Whatever the case, "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey" is an awful movie.
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The premise of 'Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey' is intriguing. Nothing else about it is
It’s not the premise. Love it or hate it, it's intriguing, at least. But the plot is not, and the acting is worse. It’s not a by-the-numbers slasher film, if only because it doesn’t rise to that level. It’s just a movie where a couple of guys who look like they’re wearing stupid disguises romp around the Hundred Acre Wood killing people, in not especially creative ways.
Oh bother.
The film begins with an animated sequence in which we meet Christopher Robin, the boy who befriends Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore and the other animals in A.A. Milne’s book (which fell into the public domain in 2022).
We get a hint that this isn’t the Disney version from the voiceover that describes them as “crossbreeds who some would consider an abomination.” Eeyore had the weird thing with the pinned-on tail, but that seems a bit much.
All seems well, though, until Christopher grows up, goes to college and becomes a doctor, leaving Pooh and the others behind. In the “Toy Story” franchise this kind of separation was played as heart-rending.
Here, it leads to murderous rage. Winter comes, there’s no Christopher Robin to bring the animals food and Pooh and Piglet go all Donner Party. They “renounced their humanity,” we learn, and swear never to talk again.
(This is more practical than dramatic; the types of masks the live-action version of the animals wear would make speech nearly impossible.)
Years later Dr. Christopher Robin (Nikolai Leon) and his wife Mary (Paula Coiz) are back in the Hundred Acre Wood, looking for Pooh and the other animals. She doesn’t believe in their existence but wants to support her husband.
Boy does that go sideways.
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'Winnie the Pooh' lacks the cleverness of 'Halloween' or social commentary of 'It Follows'
Meanwhile Maria (Maria Taylor) is talking to her therapist. Maria has been plagued by an increasingly dangerous stalker. Here’s an idea, the therapist says: Why not get away to some remote place where you can relax?
Brilliant.
Maria and some of her friends repair to a swank cabin in the Hundred Acre Wood, Pooh and Piglet discover they’re there and basically it’s a parade of torture and slaughter from then on. It’s not a bad setup for a horror film. But the execution is atrocious.
The lurid humor of a grindhouse movie is missing. There are none of the clever touches of a “Halloween,” none of the social commentary of an “It Follows.” At one point Pooh paints “Get Out” in blood on windows. It’s meant as a warning; instead it’s just a reminder of a much better horror movie.
The victims make stupid decisions, even for a horror film. And Pooh and Piglet look like two guys in Pooh and Piglet masks. Pooh and Piglet gone to seed, yes, but still.
Are there 'Winnie the Pooh' after credits?
Oh, and if you're wondering whether there is an after-credits scene (Marvel has ruined moviegoing for all of us), there is not. Be thankful for small favors.
It’s all just monotonous splatter. It’s as if Frake-Waterfield expended all his good ideas on the concept, hoping that would be enough.
It is not.
Instead he depends on jump scares and gross-out set pieces, toward no particular end other than mindless violence. There is one genuinely scary moment, however, at the very end — a title card that says, “Winnie the Pooh will return.”
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'Winnie the Pooh' 1 star
Great ★★★★★ Good ★★★★
Fair ★★★ Bad ★★ Bomb ★
Director: Rhys Frake-Waterfield.
Cast: Nikolai Leon, Paula Coiz, Maria Taylor.
Rating: Not rated.
How to watch: In theaters Feb. 15.
Reach Goodykoontz at bill.goodykoontz@arizonarepublic.com. Facebook: facebook.com/GoodyOnFilm. Twitter: @goodyk.
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This article originally appeared on Arizona Republic: 'Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey': Demented and pointless
