'Without exception, parenthood costs': As employers, let's make sure a career isn't one of the costs

Long before I became a mom, I used to joke that I already had kids.

At least that’s how I felt about the TV shows I nurtured during decades in the industry. (And not just because two of my first, "Infinity Factory" and "Zoom," were shows for kids.)

No matter their audience, I helped bring them into the world. Sometimes, I was even there at the moment of conception. It was my job to set them up for success, to surround them with the right cast of characters, to steer them through tough times and help them grow. Their triumphs felt like my own. And their failures? I felt those, too.

Then, I had actual children.

I’m still convinced that running a TV show, even a TV network, is more like raising a family than people think. Both have their fair share of whining (and require their fair share of wine). But a daughter, a son, and two grandkids later, I also know the biggest difference between the two most important jobs I’ve ever had: Parenthood doesn’t come with on-set tutors, craft services or cleaning crews. And forget about a paycheck. Without exception, parenthood costs.

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It costs money. It costs time. It costs ambition. It costs careers. And, according to economist Alicia Sasser Modestino, it has even cost us an entire generation of hard-won gender equality at work over the past 18 months.

But the culprit isn’t kids. It’s a system that claims to care about kids while doing nothing to care for them. In almost every other developed country, child care is a given. In America, child care is given only if you give something else up.

Cost of child care outpaces inflation

I was one of the lucky ones. By the time I had kids, I also had a partner to co-parent with, and a white-collar job to pay for the care neither of us could fit into our schedules.

I’d be lying if I said I never felt guilty for sometimes choosing my on-screen kids over my off-screen ones. But at least it was my choice to make.

For so many people today, that choice is hardly one at all. In the years since I became a mom, the price of child care has increased twice as fast as inflation. In most states, it’s now more expensive than the average monthly rent or college tuition. And when the pandemic shut down day care centers across the country and shuttered kids at home, a bad situation got worse.

Almost daily, I hear from talented, driven employees – mostly women, because yes, we still do the majority of unpaid labor at home – who are thinking about stepping back at work, or stepping away entirely.

Given the cost of most child care options, and the fact that most were designed to accommodate the increasingly endangered nine-to-five work day, I understand the dilemma. But if they do leave the workforce, as so many already have, we’ll all be worse off.

Selfishly, I worry about my industry. If mothers, primary caregivers and single parents can’t work as executives, directors, producers, writers and actors, their stories are less likely to be reflected on TV. And we risk returning to unrealistic portraits of parenthood like the ones I grew up with.

My industry is just an example, but it isn’t the exception. At this point, the benefits that working parents bring to any type of organization are well-known. Our talent pools are bigger. Our ideas are bolder. Our appeals are broader. Even our bottom lines do better.

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A study last year found that the share prices of companies with more women in management – so many of whom are working parents able to balance competing obligations – outperform those of companies who lack female leaders. Across genders, it pays to invest in working parents and their families. Another study, also from last year, found that companies that do so see 5.5 times more revenue growth, thanks to “greater innovation, higher talent retention, and increased productivity.”

That’s all in jeopardy if nothing changes. And if we wait around for the government to act, it’s possible nothing will.

The good news, though, is that corporate leaders can step up where political leaders have lain low. We can put our money where our mouths are by supporting the caregivers who keep our organizations running – and securing our own futures along the way.

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At NBCUniversal, where I work, we’ve seen tremendous success in locations that offer subsidized on-site child care. It’s the reason I’ve been able to retain some of my most trusted employees through parenthood, and what every one of them has listed in conversations with me as most critical to keeping them on the job.

A stipend for outside care is an equally good option, and something my company has found great success with, too.

Define success by what gets done

The next way to support working parents is through flexible work arrangements, including but not limited to remote or alternative scheduling options. When I became a mom, these hardly existed. Although not official company policy, I allowed any new parent who reported to me to work a four-day work week, logged at odd hours if necessary.

It paid off big time in quality of work, commitment and loyalty. I also learned that productivity doesn’t always require face time. My whole team benefitted when we defined success by asking what got done, rather than focus on where or when. And now, most organizations know we can offer that same flexibility – or at least something similar – for most of our employees, because we’ve just spent the past year doing it.

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Finally, organizations can invest in caregivers by offering them caregiving days – paid time off to support a dependent, whether a young child, an elderly parent or even a spouse. At NBCUniversal, we’ve learned something important from them: Parents are less likely to choose child care over work if they don’t have to choose between child care and work.

Even once the pandemic passes, this flexibility is a takeaway all corporate leaders should keep in mind.

To do right by working parents, we have to do things differently. That means helping them balance their home lives and work lives, instead of forcing them to pick one over the other. It means acknowledging child care as a priority, instead of treating it like a privilege.

We may not be able to give our employees on-set tutors, craft services and cleaning crews to help raise their kids. But we can and should give them this: the freedom – and choice – to care.

Bonnie Hammer is the vice chairman of NBCUniversal.

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This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Corporations claim to support women. But do they support mothers?