The Woman Who Was Banned From Walmart for Drinking Wine Out of a Pringles Can Is a Relatable Nonpartisan Icon
In Trump’s America (Trump’s America™), it can often be hard to find a celebrity who has not weighed in (or failed to weigh in) on some sort of hot button issue such as the following: Should people of color have the right to feel safe? Are women technically “people”? Is Earth good, and worth protecting, or bad like garbage? Should you go to a Michael Bay movie? Do guns kill people, or do gun owners’ pet dogs who accidentally lick the trigger, firing it into the apartment next door, kill people? Is The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel kind of anti-semitic or not quite?
This ideological divide, I’d imagine, is much of the reason the Oscars can’t find a host-who is a-political yet still manages to be palatable given that it’s impossible to be a-political when even one’s silence is a privilege and implicit political statement?!
All that said, I’ve found a woman whose actions manage to at once delight and offend members of almost all political affiliations (progressive to Everything-Butta-Nazi). She is a unicorn of tastelessness, and a relatability queen; a woman so low-brow she pops out of the other end of the spectrum and mysteriously ends up as high-brow as Daniel Day Lewis at a performance art installation. She is the salt of the strip mall, and as bipartisan as Flamin’ Hot Cheetos: she is the woman who was banned from Walmart while drinking wine from a Pringles can.
If you missed it this weekend because you were, I don’t know, reading, on Friday morning, Texas’s Wichita Falls police received a call that a woman wearing a blue jacket and black pants (chic?!) had been riding an electric cart around a Walmart since 6:30 a.m., while drinking wine out of a Pringles can.
The officers responded to the call around 9 a.m., and eventually found the woman in a nearby restaurant, where they informed her that she had been banned from Walmart.
This story has everything-A neutral and classic wardrobe color palette! Early morning drinking! Recycling! Using a Pringles can as a drink holder (lifestyle icon?)! Learning you have been banned from a Walmart after the fact and in a separate location from the thing that got you banned!
And, most rivetingly, it is, at present, impossible to peg this woman’s political views, as her actions scream either dirtbag left or dirtbag right. Do I have a guess of what she might say if you asked her, “Ma’am, what do you think of the wall?” Oh, extremely I do. But did the police ask her that? Likely no! Thus, Pringles Wine Woman remains a relatable queen. Whom we will continue to stan until future notice. (Though, just saying it, if she gets anymore famous, she almost definitely will say something horribly offensive at which point I will disavow this piece of writing unconditionally and also burn it, and that’s my official comment.)
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