For some domestic violence victims, ‘stay at home’ means being trapped with an abuser
Child abuse and neglect are often discovered at school, with a teacher noticing that a child is bruised or a counselor asking if they’re eating enough.
As the coronavirus crisis unfolds, though, victim advocates are worried that children and other victims of family abuse are losing access to safe spaces, forced to stay at home with their abuser to try to prevent a contagious virus from spreading.
“In times of crisis, domestic violence increases, and this particular situation is almost like the most perfect tsunami you can ever imagine,” said Alice Lutz, the CEO of Triangle Family Services. “We have almost created a hostage situation because with COVID-19 and with shelter-in-place, the victims are now in many instances trapped with the offenders.”
Many providers across the state share Lutz’s concerns that the stress of coping with the virus alone would likely increase the number of domestic violence incidents. When combined with the stay-at-home order, a step medical experts on every level say is necessary to prevent the virus from spreading, victim advocates say it is likely that many incidents of abuse will initially go unreported.
Often, child abuse is discovered in places outside the home where young people feel comfortable, said Cristin DeRonja, the executive director of SAFEChild, a Raleigh group that works to prevent child abuse. Many of those — schools, churches, organized sports — are now closed.
“The safety net for children is nonexistent right now,” DeRonja said.
Rep. Sydney Batch, a Wake County Democrat, raised the likelihood of increases in domestic violence during a town hall on Sunday. With many people working from home now, it’s difficult for victims to find a reason to leave the house to seek a protective order, Batch said in a Wednesday interview with the News & Observer.
“It’s a lot more difficult because you have to have the means to get out of the home, have a reason to leave,” Batch said. “And if the abuser is home with you — and a lot of times if the abuser is abusing children — it makes it much harder to come up with a safety plan and escape a really harmful situation.”
Courthouses remain open to hear emergency requests for domestic violence protective orders, Batch emphasized. She said she’s heard of at least one recent case where a plaintiff told a Wake County judge she would have sought a protective order sooner but thought the courthouses were not open.
Listen to our daily briefing:
Here's how to listen to our Daily Briefing on your favorite smart speakers and podcast playlists.
Increased mental health need
Mental health service providers are already seeing more need, including crisis intervention hotlines such as HopeLine, which operates statewide.
In an average month, HopeLine receives about 1,400 calls, Executive Director Lauren Foster said. The first two weeks of March were on that pace before calls began accelerating.
As of lunchtime Tuesday, Foster said, the hotline had answered slightly more than 1,700 calls in March.
“When you hear isolation, that can be a scary thing, and it makes people feel like they’re more alone. Feeling alone and then physically being alone, in and of itself, can be really hard for people to think through,” Foster said.
Some North Carolina cities are already seeing more domestic violence calls, such as Charlotte, where police told WBTV they’ve seen a 17% increase and Guilford County, where the Greensboro News & Record reported police and victim advocates are also seeing spikes.
Experts caution, though, that even in places where there haven’t been more reported incidents, the coronavirus is likely causing family violence.
“Pretty much anytime there are additional stressors, it causes an increase in domestic violence, and when those stressors are directly tied to some of the issues that go along with the stay at home order, for example, it’s very likely for us to see a spike,” said Carianne Fisher, executive director of the N.C. Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
Social isolation is frequently a tactic abusers use to maintain control over victims, Fisher added. Now, due to social distancing measures, survivors are less likely to go to a friend’s house or a relative’s house to find shelter.
Chapel Hill’s Compass Center for Women and Families reported an increase in domestic violence clients in March 2019 compared to March 2020, with 231 clients served last year and 267 this year, a 15.6% increase. The center’s total number of domestic violence-related calls — including hotline calls, follow-ups and legal calls — also increased 15.8%, from 619 to 717.
March 2020 also saw an increase in the number of people requesting emergency shelter, with 13 seeking out somewhere else to stay as compared to six in March 2019.
The center did report a decline in requests for help filing domestic violence protective orders from March 2019 to March 2020. That decline from 12 to six came with an important caveat, though, as advocates believe victims may not think it is safe to file such an order right now with stay-at-home orders in effect.
“We are anticipating increases in requests with filing domestic violence protective orders and are seeing a significant increase in need for emergency shelter now for people who do not feel safe where they are living due to domestic violence,” the Compass Center’s executive director Cordelia Heaney said in an email.
Most of the staff are working remotely, she said, while others are meeting with clients via video or over the phone. Staff is following the CDC’s social distancing guidelines when an in-person meeting is necessary for a client’s safety, she said.
Emergency shelters do remain open, but some providers are trying to place survivors in hotel rooms where it is easier to maintain social distancing.
Batch, the House member, said a coronavirus disaster relief bill should include a provision that creates an emergency housing assistance fund for domestic abuse survivors. Money for that fund could, Batch suggested, come from the federal Family Violence Prevention and Services Act administered by the N.C. Department of Health and Human Services or from marriage and divorce fees.
“We can at least provide a safe place for (victims) to stay in the interim during this crisis,” Batch said.
Domestic violence reports
In the Triangle, some departments have had increases in domestic-related calls, while others have not. The News & Observer asked Triangle-area law enforcement agencies for the number of domestic calls for the three weeks since Gov. Roy Cooper declared a state of emergency for COVID-19 in North Carolina and for the three weeks immediately before.
The Wake County Sheriff’s Office reported 28 domestic-related calls in the period from Feb. 18 to March 10, with 39 domestic-related calls from March 10 to March 31.
The Orange County Sheriff’s Office, meanwhile, responded to virtually the same number of domestic calls during both periods, with 44 reports before the state of emergency was declared and 46 in the three weeks since.
The number of people filing in Orange County for domestic violence protective orders fell from February to March this year — from 23 cases to 18 cases, respectively, However the numbers were slightly up from the 17 cases reported in February 2019 and in March 2019.
Amber Keith-Drowns, Victim Services coordinator with the Orange County Sheriff’s Office, agreed it may be too early to see the pandemic’s effect.
“But it’s coming, I fear,” Keith-Drowns said. “I think it was quiet initially, but as the COVID-19 situation worsens, stress levels are increasing. I’ve had a few clients make appointments to file, whether at the office or virtually from home, and then haven’t followed through. My suspicion is they are extra afraid during these uncertain times.”
While N.C. Supreme Court Chief Justice Cherie Beasley ordered most other court functions to halt March 16, she specifically said judges should continue hearing emergency requests for domestic violence protective orders.
In Durham County, Senior Resident Superior Court Judge Orlando Hudson signed an order on March 17 allowing those emergency hearings, as well as 10-day hearings to determine whether those orders should be made permanent.
Under Hudson’s order, other hearings may be continued for 30 days, including an attorney’s motions, a defendant’s request to have a weapon returned, and a victim’s request for a permanent domestic violence protective order when there is no existing ex parte order. Family courts are closed, and all cases, except for hearings in emergency custody cases and other cases, have been postponed.
At least 10 North Carolina counties — including Durham, Orange and Wake — offer e-filing for domestic abuse protective orders so that victims can try to obtain the order remotely at a shelter. When the General Assembly returns, Batch said, there should be an effort to expand that program statewide.
By coming to a shelter, Batch said, the victims could seek the order without making another trip to the courthouse and while being counseled about their next steps.
“We could do a lot of safety planning in a place where we know people have been the safest,” Batch said.
Services moving online
The virus is also forcing groups that typically work with families or domestic violence survivors in person to move services online.
SAFEChild, for instance, can no longer offer the Funny Tummy Feelings program it typically provides to Wake County first-graders to help them identify and report child abuse. The nonprofit is holding its parents classes and the one-on-one training it does with new mothers via phone calls or on FaceTime.
“Anything you can do to connect with a parent from a distance, a safe physical distance, will help them not feel as socially isolated,” DeRonja said.
SAFEChild hopes by the end of the week to announce an expanded “warmline” phone number that will be managed by clinical staff to offer help to parents who are struggling or families in need. The organization already has a similar telephone line for its Moms Supporting Moms program for first-time mothers, but has seen an expanded need in recent weeks.
Other services, DeRonja said, are being offered in Zoom meetings; over WhatsApp; and in closed Facebook groups.
Triangle Family Services is not yet offering its domestic violence intervention classes online, but hopes to later this week. Most of the partners have signed off and the infrastructure is in place, Lutz said, the group just needs approval from the N.C. Council for Women & Youth Involvement.
Financial challenges
The 26-week intervention class has been offered since 1990, with clients typically entering the program after they are referred by Wake County courts.
Payment for the program is part of the abuser’s restitution, Lutz said, with entry to the program costing $50 and each class costing $20. Some clients pay less due to a sliding fee scale. With stress levels high and many clients out of work right now, though, Lutz is planning to review fees on a case-by-case basis for the roughly 380 people who are already enrolled.
The domestic violence program already had a six-week wait period before the coronavirus hit, Lutz said, and offering the classes for free will cause the nonprofit to have a shortfall of about $50,000 to $55,000 a month until the courts re-open.
At that point, Lutz believes the number of court-ordered referrals will spike. She estimates the number of intervention classes will need to rise from 19 per week to 25, with dedicated staff increasing from five to 10.
“We have to keep our staff because it’s the right thing to do, but we are preparing for that tsunami. ... We’ve got to be ready,” Lutz said.
Advice
Here are some coping tips from family advocates:
Developing a routine is crucial, said Cristin DeRonja of SAFEChild. Waking up, eating meals and going to bed at the same time can provide structure that is easy to lose right now. “Just because a kid is out of school doesn’t mean they don’t need a bedtime,” DeRonja said.
Families should try to do at least one activity a day that would have been normal before social distancing, such as reading a bedtime story or playing with your kids outside.
Both adults and children are easily frustrated in times like this, DeRonja said, so it is important for adults to show how they manage those feelings without lashing out. Parents can, DeRonja suggested, give themselves a “time out” to walk away and clear their heads.
If someone is in immediate danger, they should call 911, according to InterAct of Wake County
Those who may be at risk should create a safety plan, according to InterAct. That includes thinking through where you’ll go and how you’ll get there, considering if there’s someone you can call with a safe word that will provide you with help right away and potentially have a small bag packed with essentials and important documents. It is also important, according to InterAct, to know if there are weapons in the home and to try to avoid those spaces.
Lutz advises her domestic violence intervention clients to physically take one step back when they feel themselves getting angry, a cue that their anger and potential to become violence are rising. Stepping is a signal to themselves to stop unloading emotions on those around them.
Resources
If you are at risk of or suffering domestic violence, here are some of the resources you can reach out to for help:
The Compass Center for Women and Families operates an around-the-clock domestic violence hotline at 919-929-7122.
The Durham Crisis Response Center operates 24/7 hotlines in English and Spanish. The English line is 919-403-6562, and the Spanish line is 919-519-3735.
InterAct operates a 24-hour crisis hotline at 919-828-7740. Crisis services are also available in Spanish.
This reporting is financially supported by Report for America/GroundTruth Project and The North Carolina Local News Lab Fund, a component fund of the North Carolina Community Foundation. The News & Observer maintains full editorial control of the work. To support the future of this reporting, subscribe or donate.
