The words most people hunger to hear more regularly? 'I love you'
I love you. Those are the most wonderful words in the world. So many people hunger to hear those words or to speak those same words to another human being.
I had a wonderful friend named Kay. She was a beautiful naturopathic doctor up in Portland. She looked like Candice Bergen. She was classy, intelligent and possessed a wicked sense of humor. You always felt better after spending time with her. When she was in her early 50s she was diagnosed with colon cancer. I remember calling her at the hospital. I asked her how she was feeling. She responded with, “I feel horrible, but I love you so much, Ray.” Telling that story still makes me tear up. Here she was on her deathbed, but she still said those three magical words.
How powerful those three words are for people. I love you.
I share this story because I think we all need to say those words more often. During the last several years I have seen many of my friends and family pass. Sadly, I was not always able to say those three magical words to some of my friends and family. The lesson it taught me was to tell my friends and family today, while they are still alive. I sign all my emails and cards with the word "love." Recently, someone sent me an email and signed it, “You are loved.” I really liked that phrase and I am now using that phrase a lot with correspondence. The validation people feel after hearing those words is priceless.
Years ago, my parents were renting a house in Palm Desert for several weeks. My brother and sister-in-law flew down and stayed with them. I went out to lunch with my parents one afternoon. When we got back to the house, my dad started to cry. I asked him what was wrong. He tearfully said, “Do you know what your younger brother said to me today? He said he loved me.” I was touched that he was so moved by those words. As we all know, many men find it tough to say those words to family members or even their buddies. Dad’s reaction just showed again how those words can have such emotional power.
Besides love, the other life enhancer is laughter. Love and laughter are the ingredients of a happy life. We are so blessed to live in this wonderful bubble called the Coachella Valley. There is a lot of love and lots of laughter here. I wonder sometimes if it is because we have such a diverse community here in the valley. There are so many shows, clubs, festivals and community events to enjoy.
We have a neighborhood coffee group. Recently, friends were showing us a video of the ducks they had at their summer home. I asked them if they remembered the story of the duck who went into the jewelry store and bought a diamond ring. The clerk asked the duck how she was going to pay for it. She said, “Put it on my bill.” Well, that stupid joke got us all laughing hysterically. Everyone got such a kick out of it. Laughing is just so good for the soul.
Living in the desert makes it a real challenge to keep your house clean. I remember Phyllis Diller’s classic story. She said if your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, “Who could have done this? We have no enemies!” Phyllis Diller also said, “If you don’t have any wrinkles, you have not laughed enough.”
She was right. My mom used to say that she thought people were in better moods down here because of the sunshine and blue skies. I think she was correct.
The bottom line is that we need to say I love you more often to people we care about in our lives. You will never regret saying those words. Plus, we need to continue to find humor in our lives. One famous actor said it well. Johnny Depp stated, “Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.”
Ray Matlock Smythe is an author/retired teacher. His two newest books are “Coping with Grief – My Personal Journey of Learning to Overcome Sorrow” and “Creating a More Positive Life, One Column at a Time.” He lives in Cathedral City and can be reached at Rayme49@aol.com
This article originally appeared on Palm Springs Desert Sun: The words most people hunger to hear more regularly? 'I love you'
