The world's asking us for positive masculinity

Most of us would likely label Russian President Vladimir Putin a toxic man, at best, more likely as a brutal murderer leading an army engaged in war crimes.

In sharp relief, most of us would label President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine as quite the opposite.

But what is “quite the opposite?”

Perhaps as a symptom of a more widespread problem, namely what we think of men, and act as men. While we commonly use the term “toxic masculinity” and much less likely use the term “toxic femininity,” we don’t have a recognized positive term for men — or for women, for that matter.

That’s unfortunate.

Ironically, one man, Isaac Cotec, who recently attempted to promote the term “positive masculinity,” writing online under the label of HeroRise in an article, apparently published in 2020, entitled “Opposite of Toxic Masculinity: A Healthier Alternative,” pointed to three men as truly outstanding examples of this positivity — one of whom was Will Smith.

After his slap at the Academy Awards, currently characterizing Will Smith as an excellent role model for positive masculinity seems a stretch.

However, Mr. Cotec does point to a good example of positive masculinity in Mr. Rogers. Certainly the media Mr. Rogers, if not the real Fred Rogers, was a quiet man who inspired respect in his strong mildness.

However, Mr. Rogers is obviously but one example of a wide range of positive masculinity. When Mr. Cotec points in his article to “aggression” as an example of toxic masculinity, he is being wildly simplistic. The Ukrainians are currently showing the world one way that is sometimes invaluable to deal with toxic masculinity — fight back hard. We did that when Hitler, Mussolini, and the Japanese war lords attacked the world in World War II.

We are hopefully learning an invaluable lesson from Ukraine. When President Zelensky responded to our early overtures, he replied as we all know, “I need ammunition, not a ride.” That line should be etched in our consciousness.

That’s positive masculinity.

If we seek an American male role model to symbolize positive masculinity in his public persona, I point to President Theodore Roosevelt. While he had some serious “issues,” like all of us, he won both the Medal of Honor and the Nobel Peace Prize, established national parks, was a great hunter, and we identify him with our comforting friend, the Teddy Bear.

Today we have a unique opportunity to observe a living man who seems (so far) to exemplify strength with caring, emotion with a strong center, and self-sufficiency — yet crying for help for his family and his country. As I have written before, President Zelensky appears to be the real thing. A leader of his country and his family, who isn’t afraid of emblazoning a Superman logo on his forehead and wrestling with his children.

The Ukrainians are showing us by their actions on the battlefield and in their homes that the Homer Simpson caricature, unfortunately ingrained in Americans for decades, is far from healthy. Perhaps, even more controversially, neither is the man the Christian gospel writers reconstructed. When I recently asked a pastor whether Christ was married, the reply was telling: “the gospel writers would not let us know.” In my mind and heart, a real Christ must have been married to really understand both men and women. It’s likely we have been wounded by both not knowing and the created myth.

In the sense of Carl Jung’s anima and animus, the current debate over male and female as a continuum with variations seems worthwhile. However, not when it hamstrings either a man or woman from being aggressive when they need to be. I want to liberate President Biden from male-retarding woke-ism, not so unlike when I applauded Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher when she broke through female-retarding woke-ism and launched an armada in the Falkland Island war.

The private man who hurts others is rarely a positive man. So, restrain yourself, Will Smith.

Neither is the public man who lies about winning when he loses (Trump); or another public man who seems to hesitate to really help until he is sure everyone else is on board (Biden). As I urged him to do in a column on February 25, President Biden needs to not take aggressive moves regarding Ukraine off the table. Sometimes you have to credibly project strength, whether it’s with a first-grade bully on the playground or with an ex-KGB dictator named Putin. As to Ukraine, it may now be too little, too late.

While I would like to have Theodore Roosevelt back in charge, each of us can take the inspiration of President Zelensky to heart and seek the true positive, and needed strength, in our men — and women.

Contact Larry Little at larrylittle46@gmail.com.

This article originally appeared on Kitsap Sun: Larry Little: The world's asking us for positive masculinity now