My worst moment: Malcolm-Jamal Warner and the anxiety of auditions

Malcolm-Jamal Warner stars as a top cardiothoracic surgeon on the Fox medical drama “The Resident,” which returned for its fourth season in January with a flashback to the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Subsequent episodes, however, take place in the near future, after the vaccine has been widely administered and the immediate dangers of the virus are mostly a thing of the past.

“One of the attractions of the show, not just for me but for viewers, is how it unapologetically deals head-on with issues in the medical field,” said Warner. Often the show’s narrative centers around the pressure for profits over the well-being of patients and “pulling the curtain back on that was always an attractive element to me.”

Warner became a household name as a teenager playing Theo Huxtable on “The Cosby Show” (for which he was nominated for an Emmy) and his resume includes everything from his turn as A.C. Cowlings on “American Crime Story: The People v. O.J. Simpson” to roles on show such as “Sneaky Pete,” “American Horror Story” and “Sons of Anarchy.”

When asked about a worst moment in his career, it was a fairly recent audition that came to mind. Ironically, it was his audition for “The Resident.”

MY WORST MOMENT …

“For me, a good audition is when you go in, you do your scenes, and whether it’s the casting director or the producer or whoever, they give you some notes and you try it again. For me and for a lot of actors, that tells you that they’re engaged enough that they want to play and they want to see what else you can do.

“So that’s always a good audition for me. The opposite, when you go in and do a scene and they say, ‘OK great, thanks,’ that’s not a good audition.

“I had three scenes for ‘The Resident’ and knew the casting director, he’s a really cool dude. After every scene, we would stop and he would give me a couple of notes and we’d go back and do it again. And for some reason this was throwing me! I wasn’t taking it in the spirit that I normally take it. I interpreted it as, man, I’m messing this up.

“It’s very rare that I go on an audition without seeing a coach beforehand. But I had seen a coach for this. I did all my prep work and everything. But I could not understand why I kept tanking this audition.

“So we did all three scenes and then as I walked back to my truck, a couple of tears fell. I couldn’t believe I was that much off my game and I totally tanked an audition for a role I really loved. And by the way, I’m used to not getting roles. I’ve been in this business more than half my life and as much as I work, there are many more gigs I have auditioned for that I haven’t gotten.

“I get home and my wife asks me how the audition was, and I always tell her stories, whether it’s a good audition or a bad audition. But this time I was like, ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ And she was like, ‘Wow. OK.’

“And then three days later I got the call that I booked it! (laughs)”

What was it about the notes he got in that audition that threw him?

“I don’t remember! They were just looking for different variations.

“You know, I’ve spent most of my post-”Cosby” life trying to get the sitcom energy out of my work. Just in terms of my own acting muscles, they were so sitcom-oriented. I’ve spent all of my adult life trying to get that out of my system while also retaining a sense of humor and a certain wit I can infuse into non-comedic roles.

“So I have an intense love-hate relationship with auditions.This is an industry where you might not book a role because you remind somebody of their brother-in-law. Or you might book a role because you remind somebody of their brother-in-law (laughs). Auditions are a constant barrage of rejection and a lot of times it’s rejection that has nothing to do with your A game, but you still have to bring your A game every time. The other side of it is that you have five or 10 minutes of these people’s undivided attention and that gives me a chance to play. And especially when you’re not attached to the results? There’s such a wonderful freedom.

“Now just to extend this story a bit further, I was originally only supposed to come on ‘The Resident’ and do the last three episodes of Season 1. Obviously that changed. But that first year, I was reading pilot scripts because I thought my time on the show was coming to an end and I had go and book my next job.

“So I’m reading this script for another medical drama. It was for ‘New Amsterdam’ and the character is almost identical to the role I’d been playing on ‘The Resident.’ Brash and arrogant and very skilled. He’s a good guy but not necessarily a nice guy. So I’m like, oh man, I’m gonna go in that audition and kill it. I’ve already been playing this guy! I am this guy!

“I went in and I killed that audition and I figured it was just a matter of time before I got the call saying they want me. I still haven’t gotten the call! (Laughs)”

THE TAKEAWAY …

“Both of those stories are just a reminder that I can’t trust my own barometer when it comes to an audition, because there are so many factors that go into booking a role or not and I have no control over any of those. My job is just to go in and show them what it looks like with me doing this role. Either you dig it or you don’t, but I’m going to go in and do my thing.

“I’ve always tried to be detached from the results. And that’s something I chase, because when you’re an artist, it’s a Catch-22. You don’t want to care what people think about you. Yet the success of your art greatly depends upon what people think about you.”