WWGR: Survivors speak out as domestic violence on rise across U.S.

Domestic violence is up across the country since the COVID-19 pandemic, say experts.

The trend hit a deadly milestone here in Washington. In 2022, over fifty people died at the hands of their partners. It’s the highest since 1997 when the data began being tracked.

Sixteen of those deaths happened in King County.

Maddy Brockert, who now helps victims of domestic violence, watched her own mother fall victim to abuse when she was in high school.

Her mom, Susan, ultimately died at the hands of her abuser when Maddy was just 16 years old. That tragedy was the catalyst for her life’s mission to stop anyone else from having to suffer what her mom did ever again.

She recalls the day in May 2011, when her dad pulled her out of class. Maddy says she knew in the pit of her stomach the horrific news he was about to tell her.

“When your parent calls you out of school - she was 44 - call you out of school and there’s no known history of any illnesses or anything or current illnesses your first assumption should not be that they were murdered by their boyfriend,” said Maddy.

Maddy Brockert is 28 years old now. She was 14 years old when her mom, Susan Brockert, began seeing Philip Zimmerman. Zimmerman would brutally beat Susan to death two years later.  Maddy says when she was about 15 years old her Sammamish High School health teacher had a lesson on how to spot domestic violence in relationships.

To Maddy’s horror, some of the signs sounded familiar.

“It wasn’t until about a year before she actually was killed that there were a lot of serious incidences that really showed me that this was potentially abusive and really unhealthy.”  Maddy continued, "

In February of 2010, they came back on a Tuesday night from a date night that was cut short.

He ended up setting some of her belongings on fire, throwing them on the front lawn,” she said.

Maddy’s mom planned to file for a restraining order after that night but never followed through.

Instead, Zimmerman moved in shortly after. Maddy says one day she even jumped between her mom and Zimmerman as he berated her. Maddy says that’s when she learned just how powerful psychological abuse can be.

“I go ‘Mom, what just happened? You are none of those things,’ and she goes ‘No, he’s right’ turning the paper, ‘I am a wh***, I am a homewrecker. I am these horrific things he says I am,” Maddy said.

“I still just didn’t get how my mom was who she was, so outspoken, had a great support system, worked for a great company, was physically strong, emotionally strong could land herself in a relationship like this. I just didn’t get it,” she added.

Maddy’s mom, Susan died while on a tropical vacation. It was a gift from work for hitting 15 years of service at her company.

“They brought them to Hawaii and on the second night that they were there May 23, 2011, we think he snapped and took a piece of granite and brutally beat her to death,” she said.

Maddy added, “Almost immediately I said this makes me want to do something about this.”

Maddy looked up LifeWire.  It’s the most comprehensive domestic violence service provider in the state. It was the start of her life’s journey, advocating to others how to spot and help someone in a domestic violence situation.

“It did take until after I was learning about this to really understand truly just how insidious the psychological abuse is because I can say with confidence, he never laid a hand on her up until the night he killed her,” said Maddy.

According to NIBRS stats, the information Washington law enforcement reported to the FBI, in 2022, 19,013 people violated orders of protection, and 76.5% of violators were domestic partners.

Partners were the top offenders in simple assaults as well with Washington seeing 49,998 simple assaults reported in 2022. Of those, 30.2% were committed by an intimate partner.

Also in 2022, 53 people died the way Maddy’s mom did, at the hands of their partner. In May 2023, Maddy got a message on Instagram.

“I was looking to get out about a month or two before I actually left and I did not know how to safely do that,” said an Anonymous Survivor.

Maddy said, “I think in so many ways I have subconsciously done what I’ve done to prevent this from happening to people like her, who witnessed it growing up and who didn’t have the support system I was so fortunate to have.”

This Survivor wants to keep her identity hidden. She says growing up, she saw her dad both physically and mentally abuse her mom. The Survivor stayed with her own abusive partner for a year. She decided to leave when he pulled a gun on a stranger in traffic.

“Combined with how he was treating me I just knew I had to get out or I could be a victim like the next time that he got super mad,” said the Survivor.

She added, “It was very eye-opening because I was able to connect a lot of things like why I would choose a partner like that or stay with someone for so long that wasn’t treating me well and I was really able to trace that back to what was normal for me as a child.”

Maddy connected the Survivor with LifeWire. The organizer helped her make a plan to leave. In 2022, LifeWire helped nearly 4800 survivors in some way. Both Maddy and this Survivor say the best way to help someone in a domestically violent situation is to be there for support.

“Even if you don’t know where exactly to go to just sometimes talking to people can help you brainstorm your own ideas and also just validates you,” said the Survivor.

Maddy added, “They need that support because so often more times than not the perpetrator their main goal is to isolate and manipulate and control the victim and isolate them from their loved one so they have nobody else so they can’t escape.”

If you or someone you know is in a domestic violence situation, LifeWire’s helpline is 425-746-1940.