New Year's Jokes to Start 2023 With a Smile
New Year's Day is the perfect time to reflect on the past year and set some goals for the future. You might even cook up some special New Year's recipes to bring luck in 2023. But before you sit down with your journal to write your New Year's resolutions, take a few minutes to laugh. That's right, laugh! The last few years have been a lot, and we should try to start 2023 with a smile on our faces. That's where these New Year's jokes come in.
Whether you're looking for a funny pun or one-liner (or even a New Year's dad joke), we've got plenty to get your year started on a funny note. And all of our jokes are kid-friendly, so you can share them with the children and adults in your family. Celebrate new beginnings and all that 2023 has to offer with these funny New Year's jokes.
New Year's Puns
Why did Dracula pass out on New Year's Eve? There was a count down.
What does the man with no hair sing at midnight? Bald Lang Syne.
What is a New Year’s resolution? Something that goes in one year and out the other.
What is corn’s favorite holiday? New Ears Eve.
What's a cows favorite holiday? Moo Year's Eve
They say New York City has the best New Year's celebration, but I say it's overrated. Every year they drop the ball.
Some astronauts wanted to have a New Year's party on the moon, but they didn't planet in time.
What do farmers grow on January 1? New Year's Hay.
What's the luckiest band to listen to on New Year's Day? Black-Eyed Peas
This New Year's, try not to make any pour decisions.
Why do you need a jeweler on December 31? To ring in the New Year.
What does the little Champagne bottle call his father? Pop!
I thought I got lost on New Year's Eve, but then I found the Auld Lang sign.
What did the kids say about the fireworks on New Year's? They were a blast.
Why did 2022 go by in a blur? My resolution must've been too low.
Where did the chef celebrate New Year's? Thyme's Square.
What did the bull say on January 1? Happy New Steer.
Why did the woman start making breakfast at 11:59 p.m. on December 31? She wanted a New Year's toast.
New Year's One-Liners
The biggest reason to stay up until midnight on December 31 is to make sure 2022 leaves.
Before I agree to 2023, I'm going to need to see the terms and conditions.
My resolution for 2023 is to buy Bitcoin in 2011.
Why should you stand on one leg on New Year's Eve? To start the new year on the right foot.
What did the dad say at 11:59 p.m. on New Year's? No more jokes until next year.
My New Year's resolution was to read more, so I turned on the subtitles on my TV.
I'm going to stay up late this New Year's Eve—not to ring in the New Year, but to make sure this one leaves.
My New Year's resolution is to procrastinate. I'll start tomorrow.
"Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to." Bill Vaughan
My New Year's resolution was to stay out of shape. Maybe I won't stick to this one either.
I was going to give up all of my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that no one likes a quitter.
Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year's Eve—it's December 31.
At the beginning of the year, I made a resolution to lose 15 pounds. Only 20 more to go!
I'm not buying a 2023 calendar until I see the trailer.
New Year's Jokes for Kids
A phone and a firework were arrested on New Year's. One was charged, the other was let off.
Why does the person who runs Times Square feel like a failure? He always drops the ball.
Where do you go to do your math homework on New Year's Eve? Times Square
What did the ghost say on January 1? "Happy Boo Year"
Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow on New Year's Eve? He wanted to start the year with sweet dreams.
What was the caterpillar's New Year's resolution? To turn over a new leaf.
What do dogs say on New Year's Eve? Woof.
What did the friends say to each other at midnight on New Year’s Eve? "I haven’t seen you since last year!"
What did the cat say on January 1? Happy Mew Year!
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