A New Year's resolution for 2024: We have to start finding common ground

Nowadays, it often seems that every issue is a hot button. Every conversation is a potential argument. Every outcome is a zero-sum game, namely Us v. Them.

Increasingly, we seem unwilling to talk with each other and unable to hear one another. The volume is too loud. The intensity too hot. The minds too closed.

As a result, the divisions in our lives seem to be hardening.

Granted, this is not new. Many people have spoken of this division for quite some time and have pointed to the likely causes, laying blame on everything from social media to 24/7 news cycles to COVID. Rarely, however, is there a discussion about how best to end this toxic dysfunction.

That is the point of this essay — to suggest a better, healthier way forward. With a new year just beginning, we have an opportunity to turn the corner and take a different approach to each other — one that places a premium on finding common ground.

I know to some this may seem pollyannaish, if not downright naïve, but admittedly, I am one of those glass half-full people who genuinely believes that that which unites us is far greater than that which divides us. And based on a life full of conversations with many others, I know that I am not alone.

So, here’s my suggestion: We should all embrace a new year’s resolution to seek common ground with one another. On big issues and small. At home and at work. With friends and with acquaintances. We can certainly disagree on particulars. Indeed, a diversity of views is often healthy. But whenever possible, we should try to start any hard conversation with a review of shared values and perspectives.

To that end, the question is — Can we find common ground on some of the more charged issues of our day?

Here, at home —

• Can we agree that all people are, in fact, created equal and deserve to be treated with fairness and dignity — that while we may disagree with certain cultural norms and practices, we acknowledge all people’s inalienable rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

• Can we agree that there are good people in both major political parties — people who are compassionate, patriotic and well-meaning — that while we may disagree with the platform and policies of either party, we acknowledge that it is wrong to malign someone just for having different political views?

• Can we agree that all eligible voters should be able to cast their ballot – that while we may disagree on specific election-related rules and procedures, we acknowledge the need to do everything possible to make voting universally accessible and reliable?

• Can we agree that an expressed commitment to democracy be a basic qualification for anyone seeking elected office — that while we may disagree on the personalities, positions, and politics of candidates, we acknowledge that a full embrace of our form of government be a prerequisite for anyone getting our vote?

• Can we agree that everyone deserves meaningful access to life’s basic necessities, including food, shelter and health care — that while we may disagree on the laws and programs that make that possible, we acknowledge that these human rights belong to everyone?

• Can we agree that gun violence has gotten way out of control and far too many people are needlessly dying — that while we may disagree on what measures to take to stem the violence, we acknowledge the need to take meaningful steps immediately?

• Can we agree that it is wrong to denigrate immigrants and others wanting to make the United States their home — that while we may disagree with their approach or with particular border policies, we acknowledge that our history is largely rooted in immigration and that throughout that history most people coming here have wanted nothing more than to work, to provide for their families, and to live a better, safer life?

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On the international scene —

• Can we agree that Russian aggression against Ukraine is wrong, dangerous and must not be allowed — that while we may disagree on the form and extent of U.S. assistance, we acknowledge this very real threat to American and global security and the need to continue our support for the Ukrainian people?

• Can we agree that calls for an Israeli cease-fire should, at the very least, be coupled with calls for Palestinian release of the hostages — that while we may disagree on the history and future of this region, we acknowledge its complexity and the security and humanitarian needs of all the people living there?

• Can we agree that global warming is bad and must be addressed — that while we may disagree on its impact or the best ways to mitigate it, we acknowledge this dangerous environmental phenomenon and the need to take steps to slow it down, if not reverse it?

And even if we cannot agree on one or more of these examples, can we at least acknowledge that common ground often exists — even among people of divergent views and experiences — and that, when necessary, it is always possible and preferable to disagree without being disagreeable?

Regardless, at a minimum, we just need to stop yelling at each other. That we owe each other. That we owe ourselves.

As Benjamin Franklin famously noted, “We must all hang together, or assuredly, we shall all hang separately.”

Paul Aronsohn is a former mayor of Ridgewood.

This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: New Year's Resolution 2024: Finding common ground