'Yes, that happened to me -- but that's not who I am.' Trauma-informed yoga instructor brings personal experience to the mat

Oct. 18—Julianne Hutchinson is no stranger to trauma.

In 2016, she took her mother, who had just suffered a traumatic brain injury, under her wing while continuing to work as a caregiver for others outside of her home.

A year later, she found her boyfriend dead.

If there's anyone who's "been through it," it's Hutchinson, but what's more noteworthy than the hardships she's survived is what she's done with them — or, perhaps more accurately, what hold she's refused to let them have on her.

"Yes, that happened to me — but that's not who I am," Hutchinson said in her yoga studio, Ebb and Flow, tucked away in the back of a Rabbittown thrift shop.

Hutchinson, now 33, has been a caregiver in some form or fashion since she was 18. When her mother moved in, Hutchinson was caregiving for 40 hours a week "and then coming home and still caregiving. It was a very uneven energy exchange; I was completely worn out."

That feeling only intensified upon losing her boyfriend.

"I said, 'I've got to do something where I can take care of myself.' I really felt like I didn't have long to live ... like an hourglass running out of sand. I felt completely tired, completely heartbroken, disoriented. My mind was foggy all the time. I felt sick."

In 2020, Hutchinson discovered trauma-informed yoga and began the process of becoming a certified instructor.

"I had to save my life," she said. "It was a life-or-death thing, I felt like."

The American Psychological Association defines trauma as an emotional response to a terrible event that wields the potential to manifest through physical symptoms like headaches or nausea, affect brain function and increase susceptibility to mental health issues.

Hutchinson compares it to fight-or-flight: "All of our internal resources are brought together for our survival. We make it through the situation and all that energy that was created doesn't have anywhere to go; you have to learn to move it out of your body or eventually, it's a residue that gets denser and denser."

"As far as trauma goes," Hutchinson said, "that could be a dental appointment, it could be a car accident or abuse, neglect, natural disasters, childbirth, addiction, your needs not being met — any time your body goes into shock. It's a body thing. It's not like 'I'm deciding to be triggered' or 'I'm deciding to overreact.' It's what you feel in your body that's telling your brain something's wrong."

For Hutchinson, yoga has proven a more effective antidote than medicine or talking about the events through counseling.

Unlike quick-paced and core-building practices, trauma-informed yoga is very gentle and slow, according to Hutchinson.

"It's mostly just listening to what your body is telling you to do and respectfully following through," she said. "Learning to do that is a big thing for a lot of people."

The way one approaches the mat is another component of the practice.

In her classes, Hutchinson uses intentional language to prevent triggering any of her participants. Instead of instructing them to execute certain poses, she invites the class to try out different shapes.

"You think of a pose, you think everyone has to be perfect and exactly how they think the pose is supposed to be," she said. "But there's no right or wrong. It's mostly regaining comfort in your own body and using your breath as a tool for self-regulation, so whenever you are out in the world and you feel nervous, you can remember, 'Ok, breathe. Relax these muscles.'"

Hutchinson also teaches restorative yoga, which complements the trauma-informed practice in the sense of "learning to feel the support underneath you and learning to let the rest of your muscles in your body let it go so you can just relax — most of the time we're walking around tense and don't realize it," she said.

At Ebb and Flow, Hutchinson's objective is housing "a safe and predictable place for people to come and reclaim their body as their home" by breaking old patterns that are harmful or unhelpful in exchange for ones that better serve their bodies and minds.

According to Hutchinson, everyone has experienced trauma to varying degrees, especially on this side of the COVID-19 pandemic. Those experiences may shape a person, she said, but their power stops there.

"It can shape you, but that doesn't mean that's what you're defined by. That doesn't mean that's who you are. You can still live your best life yet, no matter what you've been through. For a long time I thought I'd be that girl that lost her love — I felt like that did define me somewhat. But that's not who I am. It's what happened."

Classes at the studio, located at 2515 Old Cornelia Highway, recur every Wednesday-Friday at 7 p.m. For the month of October, classes are $10.

Hutchinson also leads senior yoga tailored for older adults at the Fraternal Order of the Eagles outpost at 899 Main St. in Gainesville at 7 p.m. every Monday. For non-members, the sessions are $10.

"I'm a resource," Hutchinson said. "Please use me as a resource. It doesn't matter what size or shape or age you are."

To learn more about trauma-informed yoga or enroll in a class, contact Hutchinson at 678-283-8731 or ebbnflow1234@yahoo.com.