YouPorn used AI to predict the porn searches of the future and, um, brace yourselves

Marcus Gilmer
Updated

Using artificial intelligence to create new content is all the rage, and now YouPorn has gotten in on the act with an experiment that's produced some truly weird results.

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Neural networks are hot stuff these days having been used for fun things like writing bad Christmas carols and horror stories. Now YouPorn has trained one to predict what online porn's hottest trends will be in the months to come, based on current search trends. 

Prepare yourself: The results are, ahem, interesting and very NSFW, to say the least. You can check out the entire list, based on the work of the neural network and "data science and machine learning teams," below.

Topping the list is "T'Challa & Shuri" which is: 1) not a surprise, given Black Panther's popularity and the popularity of parody porn and 2) a new superhero twist on the disturbing incest trend. 

Also high on the list? "Virtue and Moir." Which, I mean, yeah. Of course. 

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From there, the results get no less bizarre as they start to verge on the downright undefinable,  because, well, bots. Some of the more interesting trends to come — and what I think they might be — are:

  • Girl Time Flanty: This sounds like a much more wholesome movie from the 1920s.

  • Lesbian Masturbinge: A new Netflix-esque twist on an old category.

  • Doot Sex: Best guess is this has something to do with a saxophone?

  • Pussy Firking: Nope.

  • Tang Pong: A new sub-genre involving either ping pong, the orange drink Tang, or both.

  • Orgysty: Sounds like a new metal band.

  • Big Blomjob: Someone was overthinking a porn parody of the Big Bang Theory?

Perhaps the most succinct future trend is the final entry on the list, simply titled, "Wow."

Onward, then, into the future, a future that includes so many new frontiers for online porn, including
"Cornal" and "Batish My Yisel."

What a time to be alive.