‘The price of freedom is high’: How Ukrainians in New Jersey cope with year two of the war
TOMS RIVER - For the past 681 days, Mykhailo Ivanus of Toms River has started each day the same: Either video calling his eldest son back in Ukraine, or worrying about his welfare when he can’t reach him.
Ivanus’s son, who is not being named due to serving on the front lines, has been enlisted in the Ukrainian Air Force since a few months after Russia invaded his country in February 2022.
The Ivanus family joined fellow parishioners at St. Stephen’s Ukrainian Catholic Church in Toms River Sunday for a memorial mass to honor Ukrainian soldiers who had died and to help raise money for the war effort. After Sunday’s church service, refugees and Ukrainians living in New Jersey reflected on how the war has changed their country, their family’s lives, and their visions for their future.
“If everybody doesn’t come together to try and help and do something, then Ukraine will lose,” Ivanus said. “I want victory. Only victory for my country, for my people, for myself.”
With the last year of the war resulting in no significant changes in land, many Ukrainians and Ukrainian Americans said they felt as if their lives have been put on hold.
Nataliya Popyk, wife of the Rev. Volodymyr Popyk of St. Stephen Ukrainian Catholic Church in Toms River, said, in the past two years, more Ukrainian refugees have been coming to the area as relatives and friends in existing Ukrainian communities sponsored their immigration.
During the morning mass, a donation basket was set out to raise funds for the church’s mortgage and another was set out to raise funds for the Ukrainian army.
When Ivanus came to the United States seven years ago with his wife and two younger sons, his oldest, now 29, had to stay behind. His oldest did not meet the green card cut off that only allows children under 21 to immigrate to the United States.
Ivanus’s routine in Toms River now consists of sending donations every Friday to the Serhiy Prytula Charity Foundation, which supports the Ukrainian Defense Force. He has sent enough money for the military to buy two cars and three drones.
“We try to do as much as we can here, from abroad,” he said in Ukrainian with his youngest son translating.
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Before the war, his oldest son worked in insurance, played soccer and spent time with his girlfriend.
“Never thought that it would turn out like this,” Ivanus said. While his oldest son was drafted, he said he joined enthusiastically and without hesitation.
In his family, seven members are in the Ukrainian army and his cousin is missing in action.
In calls to friends back in Ukraine, Maryna Vlasiuk of Manalapan, who organizes fundraising events around the state through her Facebook page USA Stands with Ukraine, has also noticed the shift in tone.
“One year ago, they were like, ‘Yeah, we’ll win’,” she said. But now, “It’s such a difficult situation.”
The gear, first aid kits and now funding for armored mobile hospitals are paid through donations from friends, strangers and her family’s own savings. “It’s not like huge money, but you know, it’s something,” she said.
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When Anastasiia Babiak moved with her husband and two kids from Ternopil in 2022, it was the first time they had ever lived outside Ukraine.
When the war started, the air raid alarms were ubiquitous.
“When you are walking with your children on the playground or just going to the store for shopping, suddenly you hear a siren, an air alarm, and you are looking for shelter, because you do not know what can happen at this very moment,” Babiak said.
By the summer of 2022, with her son just over a year old, she and her husband decided to leave Ukraine.
“It’s a hard decision because all our family is in Ukraine. We’re here alone,” she said. “But for their future and for their mental health, the health of our children, we made the decision to come here.”
For the first few weeks, while living with friends in the United States, she kept the emergency alert active on her phone. Anytime it would go off, she checked in with her parents. She had to uninstall the app as the noise scared her kids.
After a couple of months with friends, Babiak and her family moved to an apartment in Toms River. Their morning routine consists of checking the news, and keeping in touch with their parents.
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Babiak’s husband now works at an auto shop, repairing cars. She is a stay-at-home mom after finding childcare, a second car and car insurance too expensive.
Before the war, “We wanted to buy a house, we wanted to buy a dog. But, when the war started, I live only like one day (in advance). I know what I must do tomorrow. That’s just all. It’s really hard.”
She said, “We are fighting for our freedom, for the freedom of our children. But unfortunately the price of freedom is very high, it is human life.”
She holds out hope that “When the war is finished, maybe we want to return to Ukraine because it is our country.”
For more information on the organizations mentioned:
USA Stands with Ukraine can be found on Facebook
St. Stephen Ukrainian Catholic Church in Toms River is looking for monetary donations to be sent to the Humanitarian Aid Fund for Ukraine at the Ukrainian Catholic Archeparchy of Philadelphia. Visit ststephenchurch.us.
Serhiy Prytula Charity Foundation can be reached at its website prytulafoundation.org/en
Olivia Liu is a reporter covering transportation, Red Bank and western Monmouth County. She can be reached at oliu@gannett.com.
This article originally appeared on Asbury Park Press: Ukrainians in NJ cope with the second year of the war with fundraiser
