Teens honored on Starts Right Here shooting anniversary as families find graves vandalized

Family members and close friends gathered Tuesday afternoon at Glendale Cemetery in Des Moines to honor Rashad Carr and Gionni Dameron, two teenagers who were shot and killed last January at the Starts Right Here education program.

They came in droves with blue and silver star-shaped balloons that were released at the end of a brief ceremony held on the first anniversary of the shooting. Huddled in the cold at the teens' gravesites — where the 16- and 18-year-old are buried next to each other — April Wells, director of Creative Visions' crime advocacy program and who has long offered support for the grieving families, led a prayer and closed with a message: "Love on your people."

But the moment was clouded by an observation from Carr's grandmother, Nicole Sanders. Standing just feet away from her grandson's headstone, Sanders spotted a round dent right above an etched portrait of Carr's youthful face.

A bullet hole.

"You can see exactly where the bullet landed," Sanders told the Des Moines Register in a one-on-one interview after the ceremony. "I didn't notice that until today."

She told the Register she knew a young man visited her grandson's gravesite last month and fired his gun directly at the headstone. The families caught the individual on a hidden camera, which they recently installed to protect Carr's and Dameron's resting places and put an end to what they say are incidents of vandalism.

Sanders and Gary Dameron, Gionni Dameron's father, said the gravesites have been repeatedly desecrated over the year all while their families have struggled to move forward. The families also have endured an emotional criminal trial, which culminated last week when Preston Walls, who was found guilty of shooting Carr and Dameron and injuring Starts Right Here founder Will Holmes, was sentenced to 65 years in prison.

They say that pictures of Carr and Dameron, flowers, handwritten notes from loved ones and other trinkets placed at the sites were "kicked around" and destroyed. At one point, Gary Dameron said those pictures were stolen. They often find broken pieces of glass scattered over the sites, he said. And Sanders remembered a plush toy shark that was ripped to pieces.

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In another instance, Sanders and Gary Dameron said a video circulated on social media that showed an individual urinating on Carr's headstone.

Gary Dameron said he let the first couple of incidents pass, but "it just keeps on happening now."

"Let us be," Gary Dameron said. "We're going through enough. The last thing we need to be dealing with is our hard-earned money going away because people want to crack jokes or think this stuff's cute. Headstones and stuff cost a lot of money."

There used to be a plaque atop Dameron's gravesite, but that was stolen, said Calvetta Berry of Creative Visions, who has worked alongside Wells to help the families heal. On Tuesday, at the ceremony, Gary Dameron knelt beside his son's site, tying a balloon shaped in the letter "G." A balloon shaped in the letter "R" was placed by Carr's headstone.

Gary Dameron told the Register he has yet to purchase a headstone for his son. He said he is afraid because he does not want it to be destroyed.

Rashad Carr's mother, Dominique Carr, reflected on the most recent incident where an individual fired a gun at her son's headstone. She asked: What if that bullet had ricocheted off the headstone and injured the shooter or friends nearby?

"Somebody could have lost their life," she said.

The families say they have reported the incidents to the Des Moines Police Department and Glendale Cemetery.

Sgt. Paul Parizek, a spokesperson for the police department, said officers have investigated two of the reported incidents and have charged three juveniles with criminal mischief. Parizek said those individuals also were referred to juvenile court.

Families of Carr, Dameron remember teens' friendship as 'yin and yang'

As the families continue to find healing, they said they want their boys remembered for who they were, not the way they were presented in court or what police have said were gang-related incident that led to their deaths.

Sanders and Heather Parrish, Gionni Dameron's grandmother, said their grandsons both were family oriented. They were the first-borns — the eldest among their siblings and protective of their loved ones, they recalled.

"He was my everything," Sanders said about Carr.

More: Rashad Carr, killed in Des Moines shooting, remembered as talented rapper, 'good-hearted kid'

They were loyal, compassionate and empathetic, their families said. They said the boys over the years lost some of their friends to gun violence and often were the first to check on their friends' parents, other family members and peers.

Pointing to her Iowa State University winter hat, Parrish, who fought back tears as she spoke, said her grandson planned to attend that university and was awarded a scholarship. Gary Dameron said that he continues to learn about his son and the true impression he left behind through his friends. Just recently, Gary Dameron said he learned about his son's dream of operating his own food truck and going to barber school.

Gary Dameron said his son and Carr's bond was unbreakable. They were lifelong friends, and their opposite personalities complimented each other like "yin and yang," he said. Sanders remembered how shy, quiet and laid back Carr was — just like his mother — and how he later found his voice through rap.

More: Gionni Dameron, killed in Des Moines shooting, remembered as 'a ray of sunshine'

Gionni Dameron, on the other hand, was talkative and energetic — he "don't shut up," said Gary Dameron, laughing.

"We say all the time neither one of them would have wanted the other one to go out without them," he continued. "So, even though it's hard that we lost both of them, we know that they wouldn't have wanted it any other way. They went out together, you know."

F. Amanda Tugade covers social justice issues for the Des Moines Register. Email her at ftugade@dmreg.com or follow her on Twitter @writefelissa.

This article originally appeared on Des Moines Register: Teens honored on Starts Right Here anniversary as graves vandalized